Falling Hard For You
by HandsOnDisformedLambs
Summary: Collab: It all just started in the bathroom...But slowly escalated to something more complex and surreal...ADOMMY/LAMBLIFF.
1. Awkward Area

Alright. :) I'm writing this with a friend from twitter (baileylambert12). She thought of the idea for the first chapter, and we're just kind of going from there! I'm Tommy and she's Adam! :) ENJOY.

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**Tommy's POV**

Fuck, man! We were in Finland, like seriously? When the HELL was that gonna happen? Defiantly not in my last band 'Turn The Screw'. Don't get me wrong, I loved the death out of them, but that band wasn't gonna get anywhere. I thank freaking Satan that my cousin made me watch Adam sing Ring of Fire, because seriously, I would still be in my fucking little cubicle answering phones just to bring in the dough. And personally, that didn't sound appealing at all. I hated working in that hell hole. Just terrible shit. So I'm as happy as shit that I actually am now touring the world doing what I love.

Now, I'm this beloved bassist working for the sickest singer EVER. Dude, if you were to tell me this shit was gonna happen to me about a year ago, I would have slapped you and told you to stop screwing with me. Seriously, I mean, when in my lifetime did I go and think, 'Yea, when I grow up, I wanna be kissed passionately on stage by my gay boss!'? Uh, never. But hey, I'm not complaining at all. I LOVE Adam. He's my best friend ever, and I'd do anything for him. I mean he's as sexy as shit too!

I'm comfortable enough with my heterosexuality to call Adam Lambert sexy as shit. I mean, I'm comfortable enough with him to let him practically rape me through my clothes aren't I? I mean, hell, it's all for the fan service, I know, but still. I get a kick out of it. He's a good kisser, ya know? Of course I love that kind of shit! If I get the opportunity to kiss someone, who's pretty, that is a good kisser, I'm totally gonna.

"Okay, guys! We've been working for a couple hours; everyone take about half an hour?" Adam said, smiling and running his black-nailed fingers through his sweaty and glittery hair. Even if it was just sound-check, Adam always wanted to look his best which involved putting loads of glitter everywhere. But I was one to talk. I like my make-up for a straight man. I put on my eyeliner and a little bit of black eye-shadow. Shit, it was fantastic. And I spent like an hour on my hair. That shit just doesn't stay straight.

I sighed, taking off my cherry red bass and brushing my hair behind my ear. I glanced at everyone who was dispersing and I shrugged, deciding to go to the bathroom. I needed to take a piss since this morning, but I just never was able to because I slept in late and Cam was on my fucking ass about getting up. I mean, it wasn't even a real concert! The real concert is about in five hours. We're just doing sound-check for the time being, then in about three hours were gonna start setting up and get costumes on. And we haven't even practiced Fever yet on this stage. That's my favorite song to perform. And I don't care what you say. It's not cause I get to kiss and practically have sex with Adam on stage, it's because I get a huge part in it…Okay, fine, whatever! Think what you want, I don't give a shit!

I sighed, walking down the intricate hallways and finally finding the men's bathroom. I walked in and it was pretty neat. Yes, I Tommy Joe-fucking- Ratliff just called a bathroom neat.

Normally, I would go into a stall to do my business, but no one was coming in here, so why should I seclude myself? Plus, I'm a guy. I need to use these freaky urinal things once in awhile, ya know? Well, probably not, I have this weird thing…

I walked up to one of the white contraptions and unzipped my pants. I jumped a bit when the door to the bathroom opened and Adam walked in. He froze and blushed a little, turning to the side.

"O-Oh, shit. I'm sorry Tommy, should I-?"

I laughed and maneuvered my dick through my boxers and held it, glancing back at Adam. He looked so nervous, and I found it to be adorable. "Dude, we both have dicks, no need to get all uptight about it. Just come on over and take care of your business. No need to get all embarrassed!" I said, smiling and sighing a little when I finally began to pee. Adam sighed briefly and walked up to the urinal besides me, unzipping his pants and going through the same process. "See? It isn't that hard when you…" I trialed off a bit when Adam did indeed whip out his dick and my mouth opened a little in surprise.

Okay, we all know that Adam has a huge penis, right? I mean, you can see the erections that he gets on stage, but SERIOUSLY, it's huge. He did mean it when he said it was like 8.5 inches or something, but Jesus. I know I have a pretty large dick, but Adam's was like…

The singer blushed and looked at me. "Tommy. Your gay is showing!" he chimed, grinning like an idiot. I blushed and stared at the wall, biting my bottom lip.

"Oh, shut up! Your gay is always showing, Gaylord!" I retorted and he just laughed.

"Yes, but I am a gay glam star. And you're my pretty little bassist who just got a huge view of my glam bulge. Congratulations Tommy!" he said, zipping his pants back up. "You can now say you have officially seen Adam Lambert's penis. That's not gay at ALL," he claimed, laughing and licking his lips as he walked over to the sink to wash his hands.

I scoffed, zipping up my own pants and walking over to him, turning on the faucet and cleaning my hands. "I'm just comfortable enough with my sexuality to look at other men's penises. Sue me for being curious," I said, drying them off.

"Oh, so you admit you were curious about my dick size…That's cute!" he chimed, tugging at my hair and opening the door for me when we exited. I rolled my eyes and crossed my arms.

"Well you were the one whipping it out there, and-"

He just laughed, "Don't worry Tommy…" he winked, turning the knob to his dressing room, "You have a nice dick too!" Then he entered his room, leaving me blushing and confused.


	2. Pains Down Low

**Adam's P.O.V.**

I couldn't believe it. Tommy-Fucking-Joe Ratliff, the "straight" guy. He was staring at MY dick. And yes, I will admit that Tommy was cute. And funny. And did I mention that...? Um, never mind...

"ADAM!" I was so zoned out, thinking about Tommy that I didn't realize Monte was shouting my name.

"Oh, sorry I didn't hear you..."

"Dude, are you okay? You were, like, zoned out and-" Isaac retorted.

I cut him off. "Yes, I'm fine, just a little tired..."

We all piled into the limo after packing back up our things and I guess I really was tired because I had fallen asleep and was woken up by Tommy, the only one thoughtful enough to wait for me. It sometimes annoyed me how I gave all these people their jobs and they didn't put one thought into helping me out EVER.

"Hello beautiful…" I yawned, stretching my arms above my head. I could have sworn that I saw a blush cross Tommy's face but I let it go.

"Hey sexy," he responded.

"Your gay is showing again, Thomas." I knew he hated when I called him that and ESPECIALLY when I told him that he was acting homosexual. We strolled into the elevator and I pressed the button (Yes, Tommy and I share a room; get over it you, perverts. I've seen your 'Adommy' fan fictions).

"Don't call me that!"

I started to laugh and Tommy gave me a stern look. Something in his eyes told me he wasn't in the mood for joking right now.

And that's when I noticed it.

IT.

How could I no have noticed it? I mean, it was HUGE! And I don't even know why it was there!

"Tommy, you gotta little problem?" Tommy suddenly looked down and opened his eyes so wide I could've sworn I was his brain. His face flushed and I laughed a little more as the elevator stopped. We stepped out and walked down the hall.

"S-sorry," Tommy blurted out, obviously embarrassed.

"It's okay, it happens to every normal guy. I just don't understand why you got it, I mean; I didn't see a pretty girl around." I shut the door behind me after Tommy walked in.

"Let's just not talk about it," he said as he stumbled into the bathroom.


	3. Uknown Feelings

**Tommy's POV**

Well, that was embarrassing. But it's ALL Adam's fault. Being all cute and everything. If he just wasn't so…I don't know, flirty, then this would all work out. And I know I said before that me calling Adam sexy and everything wasn't bad, but now…I don't even know. Fuck me and being comfortable with my heterosexuality! I'm not even sure anymore. It's like…I don't know; after that entire bathroom incident, it's like I'm compelled towards Adam…

But how embarrassing as FUCK is it that Adam's the one that noticed my dick exerting from my pants, I mean shit! Why the fuck is Adam, a MAN, turning me on enough for my cock to be seen through my pants? I probably would have whimpered if he didn't notice. Then he would look at me, ask me why I was whimpering, and I would have no choice but to say, 'Because you're turning me on, Mr. Lambert. Yep, me, Tommy Joe Ratliff, your supposedly straight best friend…But I guess I'm not at straight as I thought!'…

I sighed slamming the door shut and moaning a little, looking down and seeing my fucking third leg. I sighed even louder and unzipped my pants pulling them down along with my underwear. I grabbed the lotion that was on the counter and squirted some on my left hand. I licked my lips, and groaned as I began to stroke my sensitive dick. "S-Shit…" I mumbled, throwing my head back and leaning against the door panting. I kept pumping and pumping, but I just wasn't coming. And I knew why. I was just jacking off, but I didn't have any motive. In order to successfully (and pleasurably) masturbate, you gotta think of something you wanna do with your erect dick…"Fuck me, Adam…" I whispered, shutting my eyes and feeling my peak nearing. Damnitt, why the hell do I have to think about Adam Lambert fucking me in order to come? That's fucking messed up. "Adam, Adam, Adam…" I whispered furiously, moaning loudly, and unfortunately, wailing Adam's name, "FUCK ME ADAM!" I whispered loudly, coming and sighing. I panted and licked my lips again. Well, shit…

I cleaned my hands and walked out, blushing a little as I grabbed my luggage and threw it on the bed. I didn't see Adam and I shrugged, not thinking much of it. It was late and I was tired, but I honestly wanted to take a shower right now, I was too tired. Plus, my mind was swarming with confusion and denial…But where was Adam?

I shrugged and stripped from my clothing, throwing on some boxers and sweatpants. I fell onto the bed, not even bothering to get under the covers. I heard the door creak open and I turned my head, seeing Adam tiptoe into the room.

"Mm, Adam, where did you go?" I groaned, sitting up and seeing him stiffen. He looked normal, and he didn't smell like alcohol, so getting drunk and going to a bar was out of the question…

"Uh…Well, I mean…I heard you and I thought that maybe I should like…Give you some privacy?" he asked and my eyes widened. Oh, shit, did he hear me? No. No. No! He couldn't have heard me scream his name! I didn't even scream it! I just whispered it…

"Fuck Adam, what did you hear?" I asked, suddenly not as tired as I use to be. He just kind of shrugged and bit his bottom lip as he walked over to his bed and took of his shirt. And damn, I've only seen Adam shirtless at the beach, but I kind of hate the beach because that means sand and sun. Not my kind of thing, so I guess I really didn't notice but…Like, Adam has so many fucking freckles! It was adorable! Great, now I'm calling him adorable!

"Um…I don't know. Just groaning. I mean, like, I'm not judging you or anything, cause I know that when I'm jacking-off, I groan, but I just thought that maybe you would be more comfortable if I wasn't in the room. Help ya come faster or something…" he then blushed a lot and got under his covers, rolling over so he was facing me. Fuck, it felt like a fucking slumber party.

I laughed and got under my blankets, looking at him as well. "Well, thanks, you really helped by leaving. Dude, I didn't even know you were gone. I stayed quiet anyway," I mused, licking my lips and he blushed even more, but then smirked. Oh, shit, he had something up his sleeve.

"Well, you weren't THAT quiet…" he whispered, laughing.

"Why, what did you hear?" I asked, my ears becoming hot from the fluster on my face.

"Oh, nothing…Good night Tommy Joe…" he whispered, rolling over and yawning. I growled a little and gripped onto my covers, licking my lips. Oh, fuck…If he heard me say his name, he'll know something's up. HELL, I don't even know if something up. Damnitt…

But I didn't dwell on the thought long before drifting off to sleep, and dreaming of fucking Adam.


	4. Surprise, Surprise

**Adam's P.O.V.**

I sort of felt bad for it. Listening in on what Tommy was thinking about while jerking off. I mean, every guy had to think of SOMETHING to get himself to come. And apparently Tommy had thought of... Me. Of all people. I thought he was straight? I was starting to question his sexuality lately. Although, it still was pretty bad to listen in on what he was doing. I mean, I had put my ear to the door for god's sake. And that was pretty bad of me. I felt really shitty for it. But then again, I kind of liked it when he screamed my name. I imagined how he would be in bed... No Adam! Stop thinking like that! He is your bassist! You can NOT be sexually attracted to him!

Okay, so I liked it when he said my name, but why did I feel sort of embarrassed on the inside? Like I had just been pantsed in the middle of a public place when I was going commando? I didn't think about it too long. All I thought was that I had to get out of there. Give him some space. So I exited the room and closed the door behind me. I walked over to the elevator and right before I was about to get in, I remembered that I had left my phone in the room. I turned and headed back.

As I slowly opened the door, I tiptoed into the room and glanced over at Tommy. Was he sleeping? Wow, that jerking off must've really tired him out. I was about to snatch my phone when I heard Tommy mumble something directed towards me.

"Mm, Adam, where did you go?" he said in a low and tired tone. He sat up and looked at me, confusion filling his eyes.

"Uh…Well, I mean…I heard you and I thought that maybe I should like…Give you some privacy?" I let out a lie. Well, not a complete lie, but that wasn't the reason I left. I left because I was embarrassed.

Then he asked me what I had heard and I lied some more. I told him I had just heard groaning and moaning but I didn't mention hearing him SCREAM my name! That would be so embarrassing for both of us! So I just crawled under the covers and we talked some more. When I told him he wasn't that quiet his face flushed.

"Why, what did you hear?" he asked me in response.

I just grinned and said, "Oh, nothing…Good night Tommy Joe…"

Later that night I got up to go to the bathroom. I walked over to the bathroom door, swinging it opened and switching on the light. But before I stepped in, a hand grabbed my arm, spun me around and placed their mouth on mine.


	5. Not What I Want

**Tommy's POV**

_Adam snuck into bed with me, pulling me close to his chest and licking my ear. I moaned a little, rolling over and clawing at his covered chest. He whimpered and I opened my eyes, glancing up at him and gasping as his hand slid up my shirt and teased my nipple. I whined and bit his neck. This was moving so fast. I couldn't have asked it to move any smoother or better in my case._

"_F-Fuck, Tommy…I've wanted you for so fucking long…" he whispered, leaning his head back so that more of his neck was exposed to me and my teeth and mouth could work their way into his soft spots. I smirked and got up, straddling his waist and leaning down, kissing him furiously. I tugged on his bottom lip like a wild animal and loved the way he gasped my name. Thank fuck we were the only ones sharing this room, because otherwise, someone would hear Adam. He was a yeller, that's for sure. But him yelling only enticed me to do so much more to him…_

"_Baby, I want you to SCREAM…" I whispered, pinning his arms above his head and grinding my hips into his. Adam whimpered, moaning as he arched his back and his erection quickly began to rub up against mine, causing me to wither in front of him. Oh, fuck, Adam was turning me on. I honestly didn't think my boxers would be able to withhold this kind of torture. My dick was literally screaming and begging to be released from its cage and jabbed into Adam's ass._

"_T-Tommy. GET. INSIDE. ME. NOW," he hissed, his fists clenching and unclenching; his temple had a fresh tear of sweat streak down it as I smirked. I had got him into the submissive. Good job, Tommy Joe._

_I sneered and began to unbuckle Adam's pants, slowly pulling them down and licking my lips at his obvious erection. Looked like someone wanted me bad. I smiled and bent down, kissing the tip of his covered penis and he whined, petting my hair and gripping onto the sheets for dear fucking life. And he should be. I'm gonna give him a wild ride. _

_My slender hands slowly made their way to the hem of his pants and I pulled them down, gazing at the sight in front of me. So. Fucking. Beautiful…_

I gasped, sitting up straight and panting, moaning at my hard-on. It should be illegal to get hard more then once a day. It should be even more illegal for a straight man to get hard twice from his gay boss. I was sweating and I licked my lips, removing the covers and groaning again as my leg hit my sensitive dick. Oh shit…I moaned again and tiptoed over the bathroom and noticed a figure looming at the doorframe. Adam. And it seemed as if my body moved on its own when I pinned him to the wall and kissed him harshly on the lips. He seemed a bit surprised too because he gasped, which only gave me the opportunity to slip my tongue into his mouth and explore every inch of it. He tasted better then he did in my dreams. I tasted nothing then; I only wanted sex. But now…Now in reality and with the real Adam Lambert, I could taste him. Cherries and mint. It was intoxicating.

"T-Tommy…" he moaned, shutting his eyes and getting lost in the kiss. Oh, fuck. This was getting out of hand. I'm straight- he's gay. This just doesn't work out. I should like females, not males! But my body didn't respond with my mind. Instead, it decided to be a bitch and keep kissing Adam. From his lips, down his jaw line, and working their way down to that sweet spot in Adam's neck. He whined and bucked his hips into my erection, causing me to hiss. Fuck, this wasn't right.

I growled and pulled back, slamming his wrists against the wall and he whimpered, looking down at me. My eyes were practically black with lust, but I had to refrain. I couldn't do this to him. I couldn't give him false assumptions. I have no feelings towards him. I'm just going through a moment (or phase) or weakness or just fucking horniness. I don't feeling anything towards him because he's a man. I'm sorry, Adam.

I looked to the side before dropping Adam's wrists and turning my heel, walking back towards the room. I couldn't stay here, knowing I was still as horny as fuck. I just needed to like…I don't know. Get some fresh air. I grabbed my phone and threw on a trench coat, turning the knob and leaving. And I know I left behind a confused and hurt Adam. But frankly, I didn't care at this point…


	6. Meaning More To Me

**Adam's POV**

Tommy had left me, my arms hanging by my sides, my mouth filled with the taste of his tongue, my eyes filled with hurt. All hurt, and nothing BUT hurt. I had finally gotten what I wanted and Tommy changed it all in one simple move. I couldn't believe that I had heard the door close.

I felt betrayed, in awe. He was being such a damn bastard! Why did he have to be so beautiful? Why did he have to be such a charmer?

Why did I have to love him?

Yea, that's right. I said it. I love Tommy Joe and I wish he loved me. But obviously he didn't. Obviously he just wanted to see how it would be to just kiss me. Kiss me all the time. And he was a bitch for that. Little damn...

I got a hold of my thoughts and sighed. I didn't need Tommy. He was just a person that didn't mean anything. DAMMIT! Who am I kidding? He was 100% my type!

I stumbled back over to the bed, not needing to pee anymore. You would be amazed what Tommy could do to you; at least I didn't have to pee. But that wasn't the point. The point was that I felt like shit for letting him do that to me. I gave in way too easily and I shouldn't have. I should have pulled away the second it started. But I didn't. I had to let myself enjoy it. Fuck me! Oh Tommy would love to wouldn't he? Just for fun, then he would walk right out that door in from of me and leave me hanging.

Fuck him.

As I pulled the covers up to my neck, I couldn't help but notice a note. It was small, but big enough to stand out.

It read,

_I'M SORRY._

I instantly knew it was from Tommy. But this wasn't going to make up for what he had done. It felt so good to have him in my arms and he yanked himself away. Well I had a plan. Something that would turn him on more than anything in the world. Tomorrow we were in Amsterdam. I was going to give Tommy a wild ride.

But for some reason I couldn't stop thinking about the note.

_I'M SORRY_

_I'M SORRY_

_I'M SORRY_

* * *

The next morning when I woke up, I looked at my reflection in the mirror. Tommy still wasn't back and I didn't give it one thought. As I applied my eyeliner, and slipped on my clothes, I kept thinking about those kisses. So nice...

On my way out of the room I grabbed my phone and slipped it into my pocket, and walked downstairs to meet the band at the buffet. When I saw them I was surprised. They were all at a table, talking. But Tommy was sitting at a table alone. Separated from the whole group. All alone.

I chose the rest of the band to sit with.


	7. I Messed Up

**Tommy's POV**

Before I had left the room, I scribbled a note on a scratch piece of paper and threw it on Adam's pillow. I knew that in the morning I would regret it all. Pulling away, giving him false hope, toying with my sexuality and using him as my experimental variable. So, I thought that maybe the note would break some tension- some very bitter ice. It was pathetic, I'll admit, but what else was I SUPPOSE to do? Just pull away, walk away, then be all like, 'Hey, Adam! Guess what…I kind of…I don't know, like you?' FUCK. I don't like him though, that's the thing. He's a MALE. I'm a MALE.

Don't get me wrong, I don't have anything against gays (I'd be a fucking idiot for joining ADAM LAMBERT'S band if I was a homophobe), but I just never considered myself as one of them, ya know? It's always been pussy and vaginas for me…Like…I don't know. Having a dick shoved up in me just doesn't seem like my ideal way of sexual intimacy, I don't know. But come on, I just…I'm so fucking confused now!

I ended up going to the hotel bar and having a couple…few…about ten drinks and getting pretty wasted. Luckily, the bar tender didn't give me one of those fucking limits like, 'Oh, you can't have anymore, you're way too wasted!' She just kept giving them to me. In fact, I don't even think she knew who I was, thank the fucking lord. I felt like complete shit for what I did to Adam, and I didn't really feel like talking about him or signing any autographs right now…

After drinking, I just kind of hung out there until it was seven and I stumbled to the breakfast counter where everyone would be. Not getting any sleep and being completely drunk didn't work out too well. I knew we had to go to the venue at around 7:30am for some sound check...Oh, did I mention that I was still in my pajamas? Fun. Fun. Fun…Can't wait to start rocking out on bass in a pair of Superman bottoms and a brown long sleeve shirt. This is fantastic!

I just kind of lolled over to the breakfast table and passed out. My head was against the table and my hair covered up my face pretty well, thank fuck. I groaned, licking my dry lips and panting a bit. I don't know how long I fell asleep, but I was being shaken and my eyes snapped open and I shot up, groaning and grabbing my head. It was pulsing from this fucking hangover…Fuck…

"Shit, Tommy. You look like crap," Monte said. I just kind of glared up at him and licked my lips again, trying to get some kind of liquid in my system. "Dude, I'm sorry, but we have to get to sound check. So, I don't think you have much time to get changed or take a shower. For some reason, Adam's being very punctual today. In fact, he's kind of pissy, I don't know…" Monte shrugged, and tugged on my shirt. I groaned and stumbled up, stretching and sighing when my spine cracked in protest. I wiped my mouth off and groaned even more when I felt stubble. Shit, I didn't even shave! FUCK ME.

"Come on…" Monte said, leading me out the door. I cringed as the fresh sunlight consumed my soul. To be honest, I felt like a vampire. But that's kind of cool right? Not really. Even though, I'm so freaking thankful that the venue has our dressing rooms and bathrooms set up. I mean, at least then I can take a shower and look good there. If I went out on stage in my Super-fucking-man PJ's everyone would laugh at me!

I got into the limo, squeezed against Isaac and Monte. Adam was at the very end, looking out the window and not even acknowledging my existence. I whimpered a little and looked down at my chipped nails. I still felt terrible. What was running through his head? Did I just like, ruin our entire friendship? I don't even know. I felt like complete SHIT for it and I would keep beating myself up until he forgave me.

Which he probably won't…


	8. Not Enough Space

**Adam's POV**

I could feel Tommy's eyes burning into the back of my neck. He was still in his fucking pajamas. Idiot. He looked hung over too. Wow. He drank away his problems? Wow. Just. Wow. He was sitting in the limo just staring out the window, even after we all got out. I didn't bother to help him so Monte did. But whatever. He was a bastard.

We walked into the stage room and started to set up our things. I couldn't help but look at Tommy. He was just minding his own business, tuning his bass. Fuck him.

When we started sound-check, I felt kind of out of it. Like I didn't want to sing, didn't want to move, just wanted to sit. Sit and cry. Over Tommy. I don't know why he had caused me so many tears but it didn't make sense.

As we started, we went through all the songs. I chose to do Purple Haze. Such a beautiful song. I had a lot of plans for this song. Kiss the guy, being Tommy. He was in for lots of surprises. We soon played Whole Lotta Love. I also loved this song and had an even BETTER plan for this one. I was going to abuse Tommy. Make him want the kisses, the dick, the everything. And when he comes running back to me, pleading for sex, I would make him suffer. I wouldn't do it. Make him hurt inside. Just like he did to me.

Then we just went through the rest of the songs; Sleepwalker, If I had you, Fever, Soaked, Whataya want from me, and everything else. I did fine, but I knew what was coming for me after rehearsal.

"Adam?" said Sasha, walking into the dressing room. I turned around and flashed a smile.

"What?" I snapped at her. I was being a bitch today. A TOTAL bitch. As some would call it, I was having my man period.

"Oh, I was just wondering if you were okay?" she had some sort of soothing tone and it made me calm. I slumped down on the couch and sighed.

"I'm fine," I said resting my chin in my hand. She walked over to me and put a hand on my shoulder.

"No, you're-" I whipped around immediately.

"I'm fine Sasha! Can't I get some damn privacy in this band?"

She looked at me with sorry eyes. Then she just turned and walked out.

Just like Tommy had.

As soon as I thought of that, I started crying and placed my hands over my face. He was not worth my tears and he didn't deserve the satisfaction of my sadness. That bitch! I hated him! I hated him! Dammit! I fucking love him! Why the fuck? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? FUCK IT ALL. I laid down on the couch and slowly drifted to sleep...

_Tommy grabbed my hand and looked up at me. He smiled and pulled me into a sweet, gentle kiss. The band looked at us._

_"That's right," he said, "Adam and I are-"_

I was suddenly was woken by Monte, shaking my shoulders.

"Dude, it's time to get ready!" he yelled at me.

I sat up and waved him out of the room. My make up artist entered saying,

"They don't have another dressing room so Tommy needs to share this one with us. Is that okay, Mr. Lambert?"

My eyes widened.


	9. I Matter Too

**Tommy's POV**

I just got out of the shower and I put on my boxers and my tight black skinny jeans that I was gonna wear for the show. I looped my dark blue belt through my pants and looked at myself in the mirror. Damn, I didn't have much of an ass did I? Whatever, the fans can think what they want, I do have a fucking ass, and it's amazing.

I dried off my top half and began to dry my hair when I walked out of the bathroom. To be honest, I felt so much better after a shower and shit. I'm pretty sure I washed off my hangover and everything. Damn, it felt good. Plus, it gave me some time to think. But, the thinking kind of hurt my head a bit because of the alcohol, so I didn't really do much of that. I still feel bad for what I did for Adam, but he shouldn't be a drama queen bitch about it either. Forgive and forget, right? Whatever. Ow, stop thinking Tommy, your head is gonna explode!

I was about to go into a dressing room when a helper at the venue pulled me aside, telling me that they were short of rooms, so they set up all my stuff in Adam's dressing room. Oh, joy. That won't be awkward at all…I'm gonna walk in there topless and we're gonna have this really uncomfortable tension that's so freaking palpable hanging in the air. I really didn't need any of this drama right now.

I sighed, turning the knob to his door and walking in, draping the towel over my shoulders. Adam glanced at me and glared. I averted my eyes to the ground and shuffled to my small corner in the room. Damn, this was awkward…I just sighed, trying to keep to myself as I put on my black long sleeve shirt with the red ruffle. I really liked this shirt. It was like my signature shit. I wore it almost every concert…

"Tommy, do ya want me to straighten your hair too?" Sutan asked and I shrugged, walking over to where they were and sitting in the seat next to Adam. He growled a little turned away. To be honest, I rolled my eyes. He was being immature and childish. It was pathetic, and I wasn't one to just keep it inside. I liked to express what I was thinking, and Adam was no exception. He's not the victim in this fucking situation anymore. Oh, no. He just turned on the BITCH SWITCH.

"Ya know Adam; you're being way too fucking immature about this. Just let it go. I already said I was sorry and I beat myself up about it. Stop being such a god damn gay diva!" I hissed, turning on my straightener and handing it to Sutan who remained quiet, secretly listening in on our conversation (he kind of had too- he was strengthening my hair). He sucked this information up like a sponge. He was the typical gay gossip, but my life partner forever and ever, yo.

"Well EXCUSE ME, Tommy. You're the one that got all up in my face- literally. Maybe you should just CHOOSE whether you're straight or gay, oh wait, it ain't a fucking choice, you dick…" Adam retorted, quickly applying his eyeliner. It was in a rushed looked, but it looked sexy. I'm not gonna lie, I'm fucking attracted to Adam so much, it makes me go insane. And he doesn't even know anything about it! He's just acting like this is all about him when in all honesty, it's about US. I know that sounds so fucking cliché, but it's true. He hasn't even considered my feelings. Okay, maybe that's my fault because I'm the one that pulled away from the kiss and that pretty much can automatically assume that I'm not attracted to him, but I am. So damn much.

"It isn't always about YOU, Adam! Why the fuck don't you think about my feelings in this situation? Damnitt!" I exclaimed, quickly running my fingers through my hair. I grabbed some eyeliner and got up from my seat, walking out to the stage where thousands of people were. I was behind the curtain where I applied my eyeliner, but what the fuck ever. I was sick of Adam's shit now. I felt sorry, but now, I'm just embarrassed for the poor jerk…

Adam and the rest of the band eventually walked out and I draped my cherry red bass over my slender shoulders and cleaned it up a bit with my sleeve. My palms were a bit sweaty from me being nervous, and I fucking hated that. It was all Adam's fault.

Finally, when the curtain rose, everyone was screaming their fucking head off and I couldn't help but smile, even if I was in this crappy of a situation. Whatever…I began to strum my bass when the opening melody began to play.

Here we go…


	10. Too Much Of You

**Adam's POV**

Tommy didn't get it. I was thinking about his feelings too! Oh stop damn lying to yourself, Adam! Okay, so I wasn't. But still! It isn't about HIM! It's about ME! Damn that sounds selfish…

I quickly finished applying my eyeliner and walked over to the stage. As I entered, I felt like crap. I couldn't please the fans the way I wanted, really, but, wait… could I? Yes! I could! I was going to make this the most well known concert of all Glam Nation!

I pranced on stage, feeling confident of my idea. We were singing Purple Haze tonight, and I used a line that was PERFECT for me, the gay glam star.

"Excuse me, while I kiss this guy!" I strode over to Tommy and placed my wet moth on his, kissing him just like the AMA's. Unexpected, hot, sexy, and rough. But mostly unexpected. Tommy had NO idea that I was going to do that. I am going to torture him. Then came Whole Lotta Love. Perfect. And now that I think about it, if I hadn't done what I had done, there wouldn't have been a good show that night. This riled up the crowd and I could feel all their horniness hanging in the air.

"Oooooooooo, ehhhh, ohhhhh," I sang, moving across the stairs so that Tommy was in between my knees. Slowly leaned over and gently placed my lips to his. I heard him suddenly moan and I bit on his lower lip and shoved my tongue into his mouth. He leaned over backwards, allowing me on top of him, and damn was he flexible! He made me hard! NO, I SHOULD NOT BE THINKING LIKE THAT…Tommy's hand left his bass and mine covered it, scratching the strings with my microphone. I knew how bad that would annoy him later. But it didn't seem to matter now. All that mattered was that I was moth raping him and… and….

We were both really enjoying it.

When I knew I needed to sing again, I pulled away from Tommy, just leaving him and walking away. Just like he did to me. That little bitch.

The rest of the show went great! The crowd was one of the best ever and I knew they really enjoyed the kisses! "Thank you!" I said as I left the stage, walking back to the dressing room so I could pry off my pounds of makeup. I walked into the room and stepped over to the mirror, snatching the remover and taking off some off the glitter. I suddenly spun around when someone entered the room. Tommy locked the door behind him and I felt myself get nervous.

"What the hell do you want?" I said bitterly. He looked at me and suddenly stepped closer. I backed away a step and he just got closer. Soon I hit the wall and he pressed his body up against mine. His warmth felt so good and a moan escaped my lips. Damn, I hope he didn't hear it! His lips pressed to mine and he grazed his tongue over my bottom lip. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no! Not again! I suddenly pulled away looking at Tommy.

"I don't know what you've become, Tommy, but I miss the old you. The one who was my best friend. The one who always cared for me. Not the one who left me after he randomly kissed me. But no, Tommy. Not again. You are not going to hurt me again. I swear on god's name, never again." I looked at him with sorry eyes and walked out of the room. I needed to get out of his presence. This was all too much. Soon I started getting dreary. I wobbled and everything was blurry. Suddenly, I fell to the floor and everything went black.


	11. In The Long Run

**Tommy's POV**

That kiss. That kiss just kind of…fucking changed everything. My entire perspective of the situation. Sure, some say that you only kiss some people (like a supposed straight man -me- kissing a gay man, -Adam-) because they're a good kisser…Yes, that is so fucking true. But that one kiss we just shared, during Whole Lotta Love was so much more then, 'Oh, Adam's a good kisser, and it's all just for fan service'. No, it meant something and I know that. It wasn't that kiss we shared in the hotel. It wasn't like any of those hundreds of kisses we shared before. To me, this was something new entirely.

But then he just walked away. Without a smile, without a ruffle to the hair, without saying something seductive to the audience, just nothing. A kiss (that I thought meant something to me), then he was gone without another word.

And while I was playing bass during the rest of the song, my heart stopped. I suddenly realized why he was doing this. What he did is exactly what I did to him. I kissed him, and he probably thought it meant something, but then I just walked away without an explanation, holy shit. He was getting payback, telling me how he felt. Exactly how he felt. And now I know. I may have felt like shit before, I may have even been a fucking bitch to him in the dressing room, but now I know why he was acting so cold to me. I broke his heart. I used him as an experiment, then dumped him off…I needed to make things right…NOW. Once all this is cleared up we'll be able to get back on track…

After the show, Adam thanked everyone and skedaddled off. I licked my lips, waving bye to the crowd, and quickly followed after Adam. I found him in his dressing room. To be honest, I didn't have a plan mapped out in my head; all I knew was that I needed to feel his lips again. But the kiss was going to mean something. I'm not sure if I love Adam, I'm not even sure if I 'like like' (whatever, skip over the elementary school shit), but I knew there was SOMETHING there. I knew that my heart was compelled to him in some way…But I needed to feel his lips again in order to support my theory. I'll say it again, I DON'T LOVE Adam…But it's not like I don't want to love him. I just don't think I can until…I don't until he shows me some ropes…

"What the hell do you want?" he hissed, and I wanted to wince, cringe and yell at him for being a bitch, but I remembered that I came here to make up. To have more passionate feelings towards him…SOMETHING. I locked the door and he seemed to get tense. I turned around and stepped towards him, not speaking a word. No explanation, just nothing. I needed him right now…Every step closer I took towards him, he would step back. Back…Back…and he was up against a wall. This was exactly where I wanted him. In the back of my mind, I knew this was all wrong. That I was handling this incorrectly, and if anything, this would make things worse, make him hate me and/or despise me even more. I was handling this all wrong, but I wanted to taste him again.

In a flash I had my body pressed up against his and my lips placed on his gently. My tongue grazed his bottom lip, yearning for access that I hoped I would gain. I needed him to help me with this. I was confused, and I needed him to just help me get this all pieced together. But he pulled away…

"I don't know what you've become, Tommy, but I miss the old you. The one who was my best friend. The one who always cared for me. Not the one who left me after he randomly kissed me. But no, Tommy. Not again. You are not going to hurt me again. I swear on god's name, never again." He looked at my apologetically and pushed past me, rushing out of the room and leaving me…AGAIN. First on the stage, now here…With a kiss I hoped would change everything. But maybe he was confused. Perhaps, I wasn't the only one that was trying to figure everything out…

I grumbled angrily and licked my lips, crossing my arms and staring at the ground. I wanted to cry, I did, but I didn't allow my tears to fall. I couldn't, not over him. I just…I wanted him so badly now. We were best friend. We ARE best friends. Or I really hope that we are still best friends, I don't even know anymore. After everything, he may kick me out of the band, I'm not sure. I don't want to get kicked out of the band. I…I'm not going to admit I love Adam, because I don't. Hell, a couple days ago, I thought I was straight, now look at me! Adam -fucking- Lambert is confusing me so terribly right now; I don't know what to think. It's just…I don't even know!

I growled a little and ran my fingers through my hair, walking out of the door and going down one hallway to the next, jut trying to clear my head. Adam was probably out with the fans along with the dancers and the rest of the band, but I honestly didn't feel like talking to anyone right now except Adam. I wanted to clear everything up and make sure things would be alright between us. I hated having him angry at me. I hated this palpable tension between us, I hated…

I turned a corner and my eyes landed on something on the floor. I couldn't really tell what it was until I walked closer and realized it was someone…On the floor. My eyes widened and I ran up to the person and saw that it was Adam. I gasped and fell next to him, shaking him a little. "A-Adam?" I whispered. He was breathing, so it wasn't anything too serious, but why the hell was he on the ground? Did he faint or something? Holy shit, I don't know what happened. I'm just so worried, oh god. This was my entire fault, wasn't it? I'm just screwing one thing up after the next…

"Adam, baby, please get up…" I mused, brushing some hair out of his face and placing his head on my lap. He stirred a little and opened his eyes groaning and I grinned, sighing in relief. "H-Holy shit, Adam! I was walking and I saw you on the ground, and oh my god! I got so worried!" I exclaimed, trying to catch my breath. Oh my god, I was so worried. "A-Adam…I'm so sorry. I'm sorry that I used you like that…I'm…I'm just confused, I don't know. But I know that I wanna be friends, and I want everything to go back to normal…" I whispered, lifting him up and hugging him. But then I just got the urge to tell him something sweet. I gulped and whispered in his ear, "And…Maybe if you can help me through it…Maybe we can be something more…"


	12. It Just Slipped

**Adam's POV**

I stirred, awakening to Tommy's sorry eyes looking deep into mine. I couldn't remember what had just happened but I knew I didn't want to think about it. My head was hurting like a bitch. It felt like Tommy. A bitch. I was still mad at him for what he said. But maybe I should apologize to him. I opened my mouth to talk but he took over and started spurting out words before me.

"A-Adam…I'm so sorry. I'm sorry that I used you like that…I'm…I'm just confused, I don't know. But I know that I wanna be friends, and I want everything to go back to normal…" he said, pulling me up into a tight hug. I hugged him back and god did it feel good. I was so pleased with his apology. And I knew that now it was my turn to talk. But once again he beat me. As he whispered a chill ran through my body. "And…Maybe if you can help me through it…Maybe we can be something more…"

I went wide eyed. Is he trying to come out to me? Saying he wants to be a couple? Oh my god, this was all too much. Wow. I would love to be a couple but I knew we couldn't just jump in and start fucking each other. This was going to take some time. Tommy needed time to transfer this all into his mind.

"Wow T-Tommy, I don't know what to say..."I looked at him and he had worry in his eyes. "Thank you, Tommy; I am so happy we are friends again." I smiled at him. "But we should probably get up before a fan sees us and suspects something," I said. He laughed and agreed. God, I love his laugh, it was so sweet.

As we walked out to the bus, we stopped to take a few pictures and sign a few autographs for fans. We loved them to death but my head was still pounding. I just wanted to sleep…And dream of Tommy.

As we entered the bus, Monte smiled at us. "Better?" he asked. I was confused. How did he know?

"Hum yea. How'd you know something was wrong though?" I asked him.

"I could sense it." he smiled, obviously happy that we had no more tension going on between us. I was happy about that too.

"Okay, well I'm off to bed," said Tommy and smiled at me. "Goodnight Babyboy."

I smiled and my heart fluttered. "Love you too, Glitterbaby," I said. As soon as I said it, I realized what I had said. Everyone looked at me, confused. "I-I mean goodnight, Tommy," and with that I fled into my room.


	13. Better Late Then Never

**Tommy's POV**

My heart kind of seized up when Adam said that. D-Did he say he loved me? No, I couldn't be hearing him correctly. But he said 'I love you too', like I had said it to him first…But all I said was good night. Did he want me to say I loved him? No, it just slipped out of his mouth. Adam doesn't like me. He can't love me…He thinks I'm straight. Or, I mean, I am straight, but WHATEVER. Adam doesn't love me…Or, do I want him to love me?

All these scenarios and thoughts ran through my head, and this kind of awkward tension began to fill the air. I sighed and walked into my bedroom and lay on my bed, looking up at the ceiling. I needed time to think. To clear my head, ya know? Just have some Tommy time (not like that you perverts). So, I began thinking:

What did this mean? Was I gay? Fuck, I DON'T know. Did I like Adam? Sure, I did. And I know I like him more than a friend, but now what? I just…Fuck…As I already said, I don't love Adam, that's too soon. Can I see myself being with him? Sure I can. Fucking him. I'm not sure…

I waited about twenty minutes until everyone had gone to their buses or rooms. After I heard silence, I got up from my bed and tiptoed over to Adam's bedroom, knocking on the door. For some reason I needed to see him, I needed to see if what I was thinking was true or not. To be honest, I (once again) wanted his lips against mine.

There was a bit of shuffling and a large groan. I even heard him say shit. I winced a little at him mumbling, when finally the door opened and Adam was in a pair of sweatpants and his left hand was behind his back. I tilted my head to the side. His hair was in a bit of a mess and he was panting a lot. Did he just run a fucking mile? What was he doing?

"U-Um…Sorry, did I come at a bad time?" I asked, biting my bottom lip and gnawing at it. Adam blushed furiously, and I think he was jacking off when I came in because, he was obviously half hard in his pants. Yea, I glanced down there. Those pants he's wearing are pretty baggy, but can defiantly define a hard on for poor Adam Lambert.

"N-No, just…sit on my bed, I'll be back in a minute…" he whispered, sliding out of the door and rushing to the bathroom. I sighed and walked over to his bed, sitting down and inhaling a little. It smelt like him. Coffee and lavender. But he tasted like sex and coffee. Not sure if that's a good thing or not, but whatever; it's all good…

A couple minutes later Adam walked back in with not-too stiff pants and a relieved smile on his face. I chuckled at the irony. First he caught me hard, now it seemed the tables have turned.

"What did you need? Sorry, I really had to…pee…" he said, shrugging and sitting next to me. What a fucking lie, Lambert. You know you can tell me that you got hard. What got you off in the first place? I was actually really curious as to why Adam had the intense need to jerk off his aching erection…What gave it to him in the first place?

"Well…Adam…I was thinking and…Um…" I blushed a little. Oh, fuck it. I glanced at him and got in his lap, wrapping my arms around his neck and kissing him gently on the lips. He gasped, and I took that opportunity to lay my tongue in his mouth and trace every inch of it. To be honest, this is what I've needed all along.

Adam was hesitant at first, but then soon relished in the kiss and lay back on his bed, pulling me up and sucking on my mouth, wrestling tongues. I moaned loudly and straddled his waist, tugging on his hair, loving the whimpers that fell from his mouth. I panted and pulled back, leaning down and placing my teeth on the freckled flesh of his neck and sucking, leaving a big and red hickey.

"T-Tommy…" he whispered, leaning his head to the side so that more of his neck was exposed to me. I grunted and licked at the vein in his pale skin and nipped at it, licking up his jaw line and to his lips where we placed them again. But I gasped when his cold fingertips ran up my shirt and to my hard nipples where he tugged at my nipple rings, causing me to shudder.

"O-Oh, fuck, Adam…" I moaned, and he chuckled clawing at my chest. I smiled and kissed him passionately again before pulling away and snuggling into his side. He breathed lightly, looking up at the ceiling in amazement. "Adam…" I whispered, clutching onto his shirt.

"Hm?" he asked, licking his lips and looking at me.

"I think I might really like you…"


	14. Call From Hell?

**Adam's POV**

It was kind of funny, how I caught Tommy jerking off then he caught me. It was also funny how he went so quickly from being 'straight' to liking me.

"I think I might really like you…"

I was really surprised. I had NOT seen that coming. "W-What?" I said. Oh god, I hope I didn't say that in a tone that will make him think I don't like him. Oh god! I said I loved him before. This is all too fast. I mean, when I said I loved him. It had slipped out.

"Oh, I get it," he said looking at me.

"Get what? Tommy, I hope you know that there is nothing bad or wrong about this. I couldn't be happier. And just remember I'm always here to help you with this. It's not going to be easy Tommy, and you know that."

He looked at me, transferring it all into his mind. It wasn't going to be easy, ya know?

"Thank you Adam, I'm so happy to have a friend like you," He smiled at me, looking up.

"And, I think I-" we were interrupted by Monte walking in on us. We both sat up right away.

"Guys, go to fucking bed. You're annoying the shit out of me." he said, walking away. I laughed and got up and closed the door. I walked back over to the bed and laid down, pulling Tommy close to my side.

"Good thing he was too tired to remiss we were cuddling," said Tommy, giggling. God he was so beautiful.

"Yea," I mumbled. I watched Tommy fall asleep, and when he finally was, I whispered, "I like you too, Tommy," And I smiled. Soon, I fell asleep.

When I woke, I could hear ruffling outside my room. I rolled over and groaned. No, too early. I felt like something was missing. Tommy…he was gone. I looked around and saw him slowly emerge from my bathroom, (yes, I have my own fucking bathroom) towel wrapped around his waist. He was topless. DAMN. He was wet, too. Oh god, I could feel myself getting hard again. Wow, Tommy really did like me if he had the guts to shower and be in only a towel before me.

"Good morning, beautiful," I said smiling slightly at him.

He blushed deeply and responded, "You too sexy." I laughed. It really was nice having him be my friend again. Well, a friend with BENEFITS.

When Tommy left my room to get dressed in his room, I rose from bed and got myself ready. I walked out of the room to find Isaac taking pictures as always, Cam reading, and Monte playing on his phone. Tommy was in the kitchen. What was he making? OH. MY. GOD. Is that a taco? Wow, he didn't lie when he said he loved them. Ew, and for breakfast.

"Hey guys," I said slumping onto the couch. The bus was still going and I was getting kind of car sick. Suddenly my phone rang. I looked at it. Oh, dammit. This couldn't be good.

It read BRAD.


	15. Monsterous Feelings

**Tommy's POV**

I woke up in Adam's arms, and damn it was a nice feeling. He was really strong too. Like I was squeezed up against his toned and freckled chest (he was wearing a shirt, yes, but whatever) and I could smell his extraordinary scent. I mean SHIT. Just like waking up in someone's arms for once was a nice change to this bleak rock star life. It gets lonely I'll admit. I'll also admit that maybe my loneliness was getting to me, causing me to have these feelings. I didn't want that to be the case, but you never know. I'm kind of an asshole sometimes, especially to Adam. I'm working on that though, so don't start pissing on me. I love Adam, I really do…As a friend.

I yawned and carefully got out of his arms, trying my best not to wake him (which I didn't- SCORE!) up and felt gross. I didn't take a shower last night. Probably because I had that sudden urge to kiss him…It was a nice feeling, but I've been having it too much for my own liking, ya know?

I sighed, kissing Adam on the forehead and carefully making my way to his bathroom. What-the-fuck-ever; I can so take a shower in his shower. He has a dick; I have a dick, nothing we haven't seen before. And besides, I was kind of curious what it looked like. Don't be mean, I wanna know what Adam Lambert's bathroom looked like; I've never been in here before. To be honest, he's kind of territorial about this kind of shit. It's weird, but whatever…

So, I slowly slipped into his little make-up fortress and it was pretty glamtastic. Make-up and glitter everywhere. I licked my lips and locked the door (awkward), and then I stripped from my clothes, turning the water on cold and slipping in, sighing. I liked my water cold, I don't know. I guess I just don't like hot water. Plus, I found out that jerking off in the shower with hot water is much harder then in cold, so…

I washed up, using Adam's coconut shampoo and dried off when I exited the shower. I wrapped the towel around my waist and ran my fingers through my soaking hair. I walked out and Adam just so happened to be up. I blushed and we exchanged good mornings and whatnot. I was kind of uncomfortable. Oh, shut up, I know I said we both have dicks and there's nothing to be worried about but, like…I don't even know!

I scurried off into my room and pulled on a pair of tight ass black jeans (to be honest, I didn't feel like putting on underwear) and a black t-shirt. Eh, I was in a black in of mood. I left my hair as it was- bed head is pretty sexy on me. Not that I was trying to be sexy for anyone, I just like- you know what, I don't even care! Adam has been confusing the crap out of me lately! God damn it!

I walked out of my room and we had some left over tacos in the fridge, so I just had to microwave them. I was fucking hungry, I don't remember the last time I ate, man. I started to make them when I heard Adam get on the phone with someone.

"Hey, babe, what's up?" he asked, and I glanced over at him, eyeing him wearily. Who was he calling babe? "Really? Oh, sweetheart, that's great!" A smile spread on his lips. "Tonight, really? Sure, I'd love to! Want the whole band to come?" he asked and I took out my food from the microwave, eavesdropping like shit on his conversation. His voice went into a whisper. "Brad, if the whole band comes, that includes Tommy…" he whispered and I gritted my teeth together.

Oh, so Brad was jealous of me always getting some from Adam? That jerk! Just because I get to kiss Adam, he can't automatically assume I have feelings for the guy! Okay, that's a lie; I do have feelings for him.

Adam sighed, "Okay, I'll see you tonight. Love you too, bye!" he chirped and this sudden pit of jealously just fucking overwhelmed me, I don't know. It was just a fucking monster that was growing deep in my stomach. I know he and Brad broke up and they were just really good friends, but screw it. Maybe Adam just says he loves everyone all the time, and if he were to ever tell me he loved me, it wouldn't mean anything. GOD.

I grabbed my food and put it on a plate, heading to my room. I didn't want to talk to anyone; I didn't want to be near anyone. Or else, I will erupt.

Adam looked at me going into my room and he smiled, "Tommy, do you want-?"

"No thanks," I replied, trying to keep the bitterness clean of my voice as I shut my door (I did not slam it; I'm not a drama queen) and locked it, sighing angrily.

Damnitt! I hate being this jealous little motherfucker…


	16. In The End, You Always Hurt Me

**Adam's POV**

"The whole band includes Tommy, Brad," I said into the phone.

A groan came from the other end and he replied, "Fine, anything for you babe…" And with that I was off the phone. I was going to plan out my outfit. Maybe some skinny jeans and a tight-

Why was Tommy walking so stiffly? What was up with him? Maybe I should ask him now if he wanted to come to the club with us. I mean maybe the rest of the band wouldn't because we were most likely going to go to a gay bar, but Tommy might. You never know.

As he passed I started asking him if he wanted to come, but before I could even say 5 words he stepped in and said "No, thanks," and walked into his room, tense as shit. I was confused. How did he even know what I was talking about? Was he mad at me? He has no reason to be mad at me, so why act like that?

I stumbled off into my room, the whole way thinking about Brad. I was so excited to see him again! And yes, we broke up so nothing is going to go on between us. I called him baby and said that I loved him because he was my friend. I had no more feelings for him at all.

I pulled out the tightest skinny jeans I could find and laid them on my tiny ass bed. I still don't understand how Tommy fit in it with me before.

As I rummaged through my shirts, I found a necklace. The one Brad had given to me before we broke up. I wasn't going to wear it because I knew it would look like I still loved him if I did that.

I pulled out my QUEEN shirt and laid it on top of my jeans. As I snatched my boots from the corner of my room, the bus came to a stop and we were at the hotel. So I packed my stuff back up (waste of time pulling it all out) and walked off the bus and into the hotel.

"Okay," I said after grabbing the room card and handing them to everyone, "Monte, and Isaac, Cam by herself, and me and Tommy." I flashed Tommy a smile but he didn't even look at me, not even a glance. So I turned that SMILE upside-down.

We walked up to the rooms (no elevators? Crappy hotel!) and I slid my card into the door and opened it, letting Tommy walk in and close the door behind us.

"Hey Tommy, why don't you want to come with Brad and I?" I asked him.

"I'm just… tired." He said lying on the bed and slowly falling asleep. Oh well, I should let him sleep. But he didn't look like he was sleeping the same way he was last night. Was he faking? Was he still awake? Oh well he still might be tired.

When the time came, I met Brad down in the lobby, and gave him a huge hug. We chatted in the car and made our way to a club called 'GLAMOROUS'. I loved it, as usual. And in a few hours, Brad and I were fucking wasted, dancing, grinding our hips together and sliding down one another's bodies. I felt like we were being watched but I always had that feeling. I was Adam- Fucking- Lambert for god's sake. But this was different. I felt, strange. Like I shouldn't be doing this. But before I could think anymore, Brad grabbed me by the back of the neck and shoved his face into mine, ejecting his tongue into my mouth. I bit his bottom lip and gripped his hair, tugging it slightly. I ran my tongue through his teeth, exploring his mouth. Suddenly he pulled away and said, "I haves too peewee." His words were slurred as he stumbled off to the bathroom. I shrugged and walked over to the bar, and ordered a shot of tequila.

"Having fun?" a familiar voice said to me. I whipped around and was in awe when two brown, teary filled eyes, were staring intently into mine.


	17. Payback's A Bitch

**Tommy's POV**

I was jealous. Fuck I was so freaking jealous. I don't know why. Adam should be allowed to see who he wants, dance with who he wants. It wasn't like we were boyfriends or anything, so I shouldn't be acting like this. Now, if I was his lover that would just be an entirely different story. Because he and I should be doing that kind of stuff together…I would have a right to be jealous of him hanging out with his ex. But we're NOT together, and we probably never will be…

In all actuality, I was being a bit of a bitch. Really, I was. Who was I to tell him who he can and cannot go out with? Am I that fucking clinging? Damnitt, I shouldn't be like this. I'm being someone I hate. It annoyed the shit out of me when my girlfriends would be all pissy for me kissing Adam on stage, now look at me! But still…I don't know where this relationship is going and I don't want it to slip away, ya know? I want it to be something more, but Adam thinks we should take it slow…

I like Brad, I do. I've met him before and he said I was wicked on bass. He's nice, and cute, I'll admit…But he is very manipulative. Like, I don't trust him. And I know he still has feelings for Adam. Adam was the one that broke up with him. And that should be enough security for me to not get jealous, but…I don't know…Adam's a bit of a wild card, and unpredictable. He could very well still have feelings for Brad…

When we got into the hotel room, I had this plan forming in my mind. A plan that shouldn't have been forming in the first place. I was being irrational as fuck, and I was taking this too far, but I needed to. I just…I can't admit to myself that anything is going on between us. He said he would help me through it, meaning that he would wait for me, right? He would wait…He wouldn't kiss another man when I'm in this state. I needed to trust Adam…

I pretended I was asleep and I waited until Adam was out the door before I got up and waited by the window. I saw them go into a car and fortunately, Adam had written a note and the address to the club where he was going so he could take it with him in case they got lost, but he forget to take it with him. I grabbed my phone and shoved it in my pocket. Damnitt, this was wrong, I shouldn't be doing this…Whatever. I grabbed the note and glanced at it, remembering this club Adam had mentioned…Here we go.

I ended up at the club and I stayed in the very back where there was another bar and just drank a beer every once in awhile. I glanced over at Adam and Brad, seeing them dance and grind, but that was fine, I didn't really care. They were just having fun. And I shouldn't be here in the first place. They were just dancing. Is that a crime, Tommy Joe? NO.

I sighed, getting up and ready to leave when I saw Brad grip onto Adam's neck and shoved his face into his. And Adam just took it. Their mouths parted and I cringed when I saw their tongues intertwined with each other. They shut their eyes and Adam gripped onto Brad's hair, sucking his fucking face off. Clearly, he enjoyed it, I could tell that much.

I guess Adam does say he loves people, even if it means nothing.

I had half a mind to leave, but then, no, fuck it. I'm confronting him. Brad scurried off and Adam turned in his seat back to the bar. I bit my bottom lip, but then I got all the fucking confidence in the world. I was gonna confront this bitch and tell him what is going down. That I don't want this anymore. He fucking ruined his chance!

"Having fun?" I hissed and Adam gasped turning around and looking at me. My arms were crossed and to be honest, I was heart broken. But rage was consuming me right now. "I guess it just doesn't fucking matter, does it, Adam? Does helping me get through this confusing patch in my life involve the first male I may ever have had feelings for to just kiss another man, whom he broke up with? Did I actually fall for a fucking whore? You know what Adam, payback's a fucking BITCH!" I hissed, turning and grabbing some pretty blond boy that was dancing. I gripped onto his hair and pulled him down, kissing him roughly on the lips. He gasped, but of course, didn't oppose.

He moaned and wrapped his arms around my waist pulling my closer. I shoved my tongue in his mouth, tasting him and almost gagging. It was all just fucking alcohol. After about another five seconds I pulled away and glared at Adam. I flipped him off and turned my heel, walking out of the club.

FUCK. HIM.


	18. Never Easy To Please

**Adam's POV**

I watched as Tommy grabbed some skanky looking blonde. Their tongues played with each other as I sat and watched. Like I was watching Porno. It was horrible. Payback WAS a bitch and I didn't want to have Tommy be mad at me. AGAIN. But then again, we weren't a couple, AND I was drunk! So what should it matter to him? Why should it mean everything to him that I kissed Brad? It doesn't make sense. It was just a fucking kiss! It's not like I made him watch Brad and I have sex! OH MY GOD. But what I said to Tommy yesterday, he took the wrong way. When I said I'd help him through it, it didn't mean I would wait for him. But wasn't that what I was thinking when I said it? DAMN, I'm so confused!

My eyes watered. I shouldn't have done that to him. He had confessed to me that he liked me and I was about to say it to him. But then, all of a sudden, I made out with Brad, drunk as could be, and Tommy saw me. Wow. I had made a big mistake.

I fled quickly, following Tommy out of the club. I grabbed his arm and spun him around, but all I got was a burning in my cheek and a red handprint over it.

"Bitch," he said to me. My eyes welled even more as I watched him leave. He came to have fun and I hurt him. And he hurt me pretty bad too. But not anything I could ACTUALLY be angry for. Ya know, a person doubted Tommy for his size but DAMN was he strong! I wonder how strong he would be in bed...

NO! Adam, stop! Tommy's as mad as could be at you and you're thinking about sex? Wow, you are a slut!

I soon moved from my spot and called a cab. I was standing outside the club when Brad walked out.

"What the hell are you doing Adam?" he spat at me.

I looked at him and said, "Don't fucking talk to me Brad. Leave me the fuck alone." I gave him a glare.

"Adam, what did I-"

"GET OUT OF HERE!" I said, shoving him back into the club. I did feel bad about it though. He was my best friend and I shouldn't have done that. But I was still a little drunk. Who can blame me?

The cab pulled up and I stepped in, told the diver my address and waited. Just waited. Thinking of Tommy. I felt like shit. I knew that something felt wrong about kissing Brad but I was in the fucking moment, ya know?

When the cab pulled over at the hotel, I looked at my phone. 4:30 am. And we had morning rehearsals. Perfect. Fan-fucking-tactic!

I quickly paid the driver and ran into the lobby and up the long stairway. Thank God we were on the second floor. I didn't have much energy left. When I got to my room I dug through my pockets for my key. No key. Wow. It's a perfect day. I banged on the door. When no one answered, I put my ear to it and listened. I heard shuffling. The door suddenly popped open. Tommy shoved me a pillow and a blanket.

"Sleep in the fucking hallway," he said, and I was amazed. Is he really going to make me sleep in the hallway? The closing of the door and the lock sliding sound gave me my answer. So I curled up on the hallway floor and drifted to sleep.


	19. MakeUp A Demon

**Tommy's POV**

_We were a couple. Finally, a fucking couple. Like the fantasy couple on Disney movies; yep, that was us. I know it sounds sappy, but it's true. And I never thought it would work out that way, ya know? Like, I love Adam and he loves me. He said he loved me when we were cuddling. I was about to fall asleep and he just whispered it in my ear, my heart just fucking burst._

_It took me awhile to accept the theory that I did in fact have feelings for Adam. Real feelings. The kind of feelings that you only have towards someone you know you want to spend the rest of your life with. A person you love unconditionally and they love you, knowing you'll never hurt them, and they'll never hurt you. _

_It was actually our one month anniversary, and I was fucking stoked. I had this whole thing planned, where I was gonna show up at Adam's place and surprise him with a bottle of his favorite red wine, our favorite movie Velvet Goldmine, and we were gonna go out to dinner at his favorite French restaurant. Shit, I couldn't wait. I'd been planning this for awhile, because I know Adam liked big things._

_I walked up to his door and snuck in. It was dark, and I thought that maybe he wasn't home, but his car was outside…So he couldn't' have gone anywhere…Plus, he knew I was coming over, so it's not like he would leave when I told him what time I would be here._

_I glanced at the bedroom and the door was cracked open, a small amount of light penetrated through the dark hallway. I slowly stalked over there and heard moans…Groaning, and Adam screaming. I gasped and pressed the door opening, my eyes widening at the sight before me:_

_Adam had Brad down on all fours and he was pounding into him, Brad whimpering and moaning, and Adam feasting off those sounds of pleasure. They were both sweating and ready to collapse from the amount of ecstasy they were currently feeling. I stood there in shock, not exactly sure what to do. Adam said he had my heart, and he did…But he was currently ripping it in half. _

_The singer looked at me with a wild smirk. "When I said I'd help you get through it Tommy, it didn't mean I'd wait for you. You took too long, and I need someone!" Adam exclaimed, continuing to pound into Brad._

_Over and over again. In front of me._

I woke up. Pissed the fuck off. The images were swarming through the head. The betrayal was coursing through my heart. It was all Adam's fault. Fuck him. THAT WHORE. He doesn't want love, he just wants SEX. To even think that I actually considered even…Becoming his boyfriend…His _lover_. I was willing to make the sacrifice of my heterosexuality so I could be with Adam because honestly, I might have…I could have, _liked _him _a lot_, ya know? Like…I could imagine ourselves together, kissing, loving, all that. And to be honest, I would have thought Adam imagined the same thing, but I guess not…Whatever, I'm gonna make him WISH that he never did that. He's gonna wish that he saved everything for me, because he lost what could have been.

Oh, fuck, I was gonna make him so freaking jealous and lustful, and then he's not gonna get anything, that stupid bitch.

I laughed at my plan and got up, stripping from my clothes as I got to the shower and hopping in. I had my peach shampoo (oh, how Adam had always commented on this scent- he fucking went insane for it) and conditioner and lathered myself up nicely with some body wash that came in the same pack. So pretty much, I was a human peach smelling machine.

After rinsing off thoroughly (and knowing I was fucking clean), I stepped out and dried off, blow drying my hair. I wrapped the towel around my waist and began to straighten my blond fringe. If looked silky and smooth, something you just wanna run your fingers through and tug at. After that, I found my tightest pair of black skinny jeans (no underwear- then you can clearly see my fucking bulge) and a short sleeved beige shirt. Fuck, I love my tattoos. I just got this new one of Count Dracula, and I love it; plus, I've got fucking sexy arms. I mean have you SEEN my arms recently? They're freaking fantastic!

Then I turned my attention to the mirror wear I applied my eyeliner and light coat of black eye shadow. Then the final touch: lip gloss. A fan got it for me…

After all my hard work I inspected myself in the mirror and was fairly pleased. I was pretty fucking sexy. Go Tommy Joe Ratliff! Then I decided it was time to let Adam in. When I opened the door and glanced around he wasn't anywhere to be seen. I frowned and shrugged, grabbing my phone and sliding it into my pocket. We have early sound check. I'll just go downstairs and see what everyone is up too.

Oh, and I'm gonna flirt and tease Adam Lambert so fucking much, I'm gonna make him come in his fucking pants…


	20. If I Can't Have You

**Adam's POV**

I was woken in the middle of the night by the hotel manager. "Get out" is all he said. I now really WAS homeless. I had been kicked out of the room, now kicked out of the hotel? Wow. My life is really fucked up right now. And I probably looked like shit.

My thoughts kept drifting to Tommy. His luscious blonde locks, his deep brown eyes, his slim, simple figure, he was perfect. And I wanted him. I wanted him in my life again. No, I NEEDED Tommy. Otherwise I would die.

Well, that's not such a bad idea. To die. It might feel good for once. Now, I wasn't one to have suicidal thoughts but this was different. I needed Tommy or I would kill myself. And I had half a mind to go back to the room and apologize, but I wasn't allowed back into the hotel. Wow. FUCK MY LIFE.

I walked along the sidewalk and my phone rang. Monte. Well, it was time for rehearsals anyway so I expected this to come.

"Hello?"

"Adam! Where the hell are you? You're fucking late!"

"You don't need to wait anymore. You can start planning my funeral." I hung up. I hope they won't miss me. Well, this was all for the best. I was just a piece of shit no one wanted in their life. Especially Tommy. My biggest crush. I started to love him and I knew it. But it was all ending now.

As I walked, I looked for the things I needed. I walked into a surprisingly scary store. All around me hung guns. Big ones, little ones, and somewhere there was the perfect one for me.

I grazed the guns and found the one I needed. A black hand gun. Even better, it had glitter on it. Perfect for my death. I grabbed the gun and bought it, not caring about how much of a tip I gave the man. I just walked out and held the gun in my sweatshirt pocket. This was going to be perfect...

I soon got back to the hotel and I saw the band going frantic in the lobby. I wasn't allowed inside, but no one said I couldn't kill myself out side the window. I pulled the gun from my pocket and held it to my head. Right before I pulled the trigger, Tommy spun around and screamed. He was crying. Why? I was worth less shit. I mouthed the words, 'goodbye' and pulled the trigger.


	21. Insane Idiot

**Tommy's POV**

I went downstairs to the lobby where everyone was waiting and Adam wasn't there either. Where the FUCK was he? It's not like someone kicked him out! He was Adam-fucking-Lambert. He could just buy himself another room. It's not like he actually slept in the hallway. No one's that pathetic or incoherent, I mean shit! Come on, Adam!

Oh, I was gonna go fucking diva on that son of a BITCH. I get all dressed up and he's not even here? Fucking A, he's just gonna go deeper and deeper in his fucking grave if he keeps me waiting like this, that son of a bitch! I mean, come on! I was gonna make Adam so horny, and then he wasn't gonna be able to get any of this, ya know? I just want to make him feel like shit!

"Where's Adam?" I almost spit his name like it was venom on my tongue.

"I don't know. I'm gonna call him," Monte sighed, taking out his phone and dialing Adam's number. It rang…and rang…and rang. I began to tap my foot, getting fucking impatient with the son of a bitch. Dude, that's like his new nickname! God, I'm still so pissed off at him! Those images are still swirling around in my mind. Just sitting there and shitting in my brain. I hated it. I wanted to kill it!

Someone answered, "Adam! Where the hell are you? You're fucking late!" Monte spat. There was silence and then the guitarist gasped, his eyes widening. His phone lowered from his ear and he looked at the band. Everyone had their eyes glued on him; mine included. "He…He said for us to start planning his funeral. He didn't say it jokingly either…You guys, I think something's wrong with Adam," Monte claimed, saying that barely above a whisper. The band didn't say anything, only exchanged worried glances and small gasps that escaped their lips.

My heart stopped. It clenched up in pain and worry, exploding into a storm of complete regret. A thick frown tugged on my lips and I gasped, running my fingers through my hair and nibbling on my bottom lip. Oh, god. Where was Adam? Was this just some sick joke? He couldn't actually plan on killing himself over this? I laughed nervously at the thought. No, he was Adam fucking Lambert. He made an 'It gets better' video, so it would deflate his entire persona if he were too…

But, I forced him to sleep out in the hall. I flipped him off and kissed some random skank. And I don't even know what happened between him and Brad. Drake broke his heart…His love life is so screwed up. And I didn't make it any better did, I? Oh, god, Adam. I actually didn't even consider the fact that Adam was in fact drunk, and he likes cute boys. He's not one to stay committed to someone who's not even his boyfriend! It was selfish of me to assume this. If he does kill himself, it's my entire fault. It's because of me.

I glanced to the side and I thought I was hallucinating. There was Adam, with a gun placed to his head. He looked terrible. He had a black sweatshirt on and tight fitting jeans. His boots were dirty, and his hair was mangled and a mess. His make-up was smeared and he just didn't look well. But that gun. That gun that was at his temple. I let out a strangled whimper. I was trying to yell, and the tears spilled over, knowing that this was all my fault.

I couldn't stop him. He was outside behind that glass. He was beyond my reach, and soon, he would be-

The gun shot echoed and the chattering people were silenced and everyone gasped, looking to the cause of the loud noise. My eyes were overflowing with water and I barely saw the figure next to Adam…Adam was standing. You can't stand if you're dead.

I hiccuped, wiping my eyes and blinking and looking over, seeing Brad holding the gun and shouting at Adam. I couldn't move, I couldn't breath. But I had to do something.

With the tears still pouring down my face, and the band frozen in shock, I gnawed on my bottom lip as I stormed over to Adam and where he was standing. I tore the door open and walked up to Adam. I looked up at him and he looked down at me, gasping. He seemed surprised, hurt, and in total shock.

"FUCK YOU, ADAM!" I screeched, throwing my hand back and slapping him across the face. It was a loud smack and Brad stopped shouting. Adam gasped and held his cheek looking back at me. "Y-You…idiot…" I wheezed, grabbing his hair and pushing our lips together, savoring his taste. Having it seep in that I might never have had them again.

But they were warm, and they tasted like Adam.

Just the way I like it…


	22. I will Never Stop Loving You

**Adam's POV**

As the noise of the shot rang in my ear, the gun was snatched from my hand. A figure was yelling at me. Brad. God dammit! Why did he have to do that? I wanted to die! He was yelling at me but I just stared. I wasn't happy. Not at all. I tried to drown out his yelling. He was so small but when he yelled he seemed so big.

Tommy came storming out of the doors, and faced me, tears in his eyes. "FUCK YOU, ADAM," he said, and I was a little taken back at it. When and where Tommy? I would love for you to fuck me, but you don't love me or even like me so why-

Tommy pressed his warm lips to mine and he tasted so good. I was surprised. I was a little hesitant then thanked the lord that Brad was there to save me. If he hadn't, I wouldn't be experiencing this amazing moment right now where I realized Tommy does like me. And I love him. And I just wanted to spend the rest of my life with him.

Tommy's tongue slowly entered through my teeth and I bit and tugged on his lower lip. It felt so good. His wet, warm tongue grazing mine. He tasted of cinnamon and mint. Mmmmmm, so good.

He pulled away and looked me deep in the eyes. I stared back and seeing tears in his made me want to cry. God, I needed him in my life so damn bad!

"Adam, I don't know what you think of me and I don't know where we stand together. All I know is that I need you in my life. I need your warmth and care and I need your love. Adam, you are everything to me. You are what makes me smile. Even when I'm mad I need to be able to impress you. Every time I see your face I melt inside. I... Adam I... I need you. Please be mine?"

All I did was pull him into a tight hug, tears of joy streaming down my face. I heard applause. I heard people saying 'SEE! Adommy IS real!' but I just ignored it all. All that mattered was Tommy. Tommy, the love of my life. The one I want to grow old with and die with. He was mine now.

Later on I was sure to thank Brad. He was still concerned about me though. I told him not to worry. I wouldn't do it again. And the rest of the band and I walked slowly to the limo and climbed in, driving to the venue. We had missed sound check but that was fine. I was going to sound amazing tonight and I knew it.

Tommy and I were squished together in the limo and we both enjoyed it. But when his hand reached down and grabbed mine, my heart skipped a beat.


	23. Can't Get Enough Of You

**Tommy's POV**

I grabbed Adam's hand and held onto it. Tightly. I didn't want to think that I was going to lose him again. That he would just vanish forever and would never come back. Adam doing that fucking stupid stunt just kind of made me realize everything we ever fought about was so stupid. That if you truly did…Love someone, then you have to look past all their flaws and just see what you love about them. And I…honestly loved everything about Adam. His scent, structure, hair, nose, mouth, freckles…Personality, voice, everything. I don't think I'll be able to say it out loud, but I did. I fucking loved him, and if I were to lose him, I don't know what I would do with myself. I love him…Sure, I couldn't admit it before, but there's always that part when everything just shatters.

I nibbled on my bottom lip and rested my head on his shoulder sighing and shutting my eyes. He tensed a bit, and then began to rub circles on the back of my hand with his thumb. I shivered, feeling overwhelmed and…in need of touching him. Kissing him. Just cuddling and being with him. Honestly, I wouldn't mind to get in bed with him. Let him just take me for the first time. I don't think I would be able to take him, but he can pound me for hours. But not here. I couldn't just, like, rape him through his clothes in front of everyone. Unfortunately, I'll have to wait until the show is over.

But will I be able to wait until after the show? What if he just vanishes? No, that's stupid. Adam's not just gonna disappear…But people do bring just, like, guns and shoot famous people. But who would want to shoot…Okay, that's stupid, a lot of stupid religious people or those fuckers that are offended by-

You're being stupid Tommy! You're thinking about people shooting Adam. Just calm down…

Once we arrived everyone exited the limo, and Adam was about to, but I grabbed him, shoving his lips into mine. "Fuck. Never…EVER do some shit like that again Adam, do you fucking hear me?" I asked against his freckled lips (that I just adore and am addicted too), completely serious. His eyes widened, but he nodded none the less, pushing into the kiss. A small moan escaped my mouth and I nibbled on his bottom lip before pulling away and slipping out of the car. He whimpered a little, and I wanted to; the loss of his touch was just terrible.

When the show started, Adam seemed pretty fucking pumped, considering he almost killed himself today. I was still so just…fucking pissed at him for doing that. I don't know what his problem was; okay, maybe I did, but it just wasn't worth it. But, I tried to forget about it and put my normally badass soul into the bass.

"And on bass…" I smiled, walking up to Adam and leaning into his chest, nuzzling into his neck. "Tommy Joe Ratliff!" Adam hollered and I began to play my solo and got to that particular part that everyone seemed to love so much. Oh, you know the part…When I treat my bass neck like a huge…long…Adam Lambert cock. "Oh, fuck Tommy…" Adam moaned, smiling and leaning down to kiss me. I leaned up, my tongue grazing across his bottom lip which he happily opened too. I reached my arm up, wrapping it around his neck and pulling him in deeper. I really didn't hear the screaming crowd or anything. All I heard was Adam's deep moan that vibrated down my throat. I loved it.

He pulled back grinning and glancing at the ground. "Be careful. It might get in your eye," he whispered, skipping over to Monte. I chuckled and the rest of the show went on. Fever was pretty normal. Instead of a kiss it was one of those tongue fights. I loved them none the less…Honestly, he tasted like liquid candy!

After the show, I followed after Adam, being rather quiet. He walked into his dressing room and I shut the door. He turned around and was about to say something, but I rammed him against the wall, sucking on his neck. I was horny. I needed to know what it was like for him to be inside of me. Perhaps it was the fact that I almost lost him today, I'm not sure. But all I know it that I can't take it anymore.

"Take me right here. Right now Adam."


	24. Hot, Messy, and Sexy

**Adam's POV**

I walked into my dressing room, ready to peel off all the make up. It hurt sometimes, but whatever. Suddenly, I heard the door close and lock, and when I turned around, Tommy pinned me to the wall and started raping my mouth. Our tongues played, exchanging saliva. He tasted so good. Cinnamon and mint. Like always. I don't know how he did it but he did. He said something that made my erection grow even bigger. It started to ache and wanting to be touched.

"Take me right here. Right now, Adam."

My heart fluttered. "Tommy, it hasn't even been a day, are you- OHHH!" I screamed in pleasure as he ran his fingers over my penis, pleasing me with his hands.

"Please, Adam. I'm so fucking horny. I need you in me. NOW." he demanded. I slowly raised his hand from my pants and pressed his lips to mine. I walked us over to the couch, not parting our lips, and laid him on the bed, straddling his waist. I nipped at his neck, listening to the moans that escaped his lips. It was an amazing sound and I had no idea how he made it. I made my way down his body, leaving butterfly kisses over all his sweet spots. Damn, he was so beautiful. I ripped off his shirt, exposing his pale, skinny chest. I licked my way down to his waist, slowly starting to push down his jeans. It took a while, because those jeans were TIGHT! But it made me happy to see he wasn't wearing any underwear. His growing erection popped up, red and humongous. I had never thought Tommy was so big, but DAMN! He moaned as I ran my fingers over his dick, and started pumping him. He screamed in pleasure. I soon replaced my hand with my mouth, and played with the tip of his penis with my tongue. He whined, and soon I took him all the way in, moving up and down, pleasing him in every way possible. He was so beautiful and tasted so good.

"Oh Adam, Adam, ADAM! ADAM, I'M GONNA-" he suddenly filled my mouth with the salty, white cum. He tasted so delicious. I removed my mouth from his dick, no longer erected, and licked my lips and kissed his forehead, before standing in front of him, and slowly strip teasing. When all my Flores was finally off, I flipped Tommy over on his stomach, running my fingers down his back and slowly over his opening.

"I'm going to take this slow, Tommy," I said before entering one finger. He was so tight. Almost like a virgin. Well, he sort of was. A GAY sex virgin.

When my finger was all the way in, I was bending and sliding it, finding his sweet spot. He yelled out and I kept hitting it, knowing how good it felt. I added another finger, then another and when I thought he was open, I asked "Are you ready, Glitterbaby?" He gulped and nodded. So slowly, I entered him, mount deeper and deeper as he cried out in pleasure, making him scream my name. I hit his sweet spot again. I moved around groaning in pleasure. He felt so good to be inside. Better than Drake, or even Brad. He was so damn perfect. I kept going. Pulling in and out. Until a liquid squished into Tommy, causing me to pull out and lay next to him, our bodies dripping in sweat. We didn't even realize we were still at the venue.

"Oh, Adam," he said kissing my lips, sweetly. "Thank you,"

"Glitterbaby," I said, "you were amazing."

"You were even better," he said, blushing.

That's when it hit me. It had been better that any time ever because... I gulped. "Tommy," I said turning my head to look at him, "we didn't use a condom."


	25. Everything About You

**Tommy's POV**

I whimpered when Adam shoved his finger up my ass. To be honest, it burned. Like fire was engulfing my entire body. It wouldn't go away and I wanted to scream out, fucking crying my eyes out. But I didn't…When he started to move it inside of me, like FUCK, I don't even know! The burning sensation remained, but was overtaken with the sudden urge of just…immense ecstasy, like no words could describe it! His long and slim fingers kept hitting this spot that just kept making me go fucking insane and I have no idea. Like, I was gonna have a fucking orgasm, it was so amazing! Just like that spot inside of me, and him moving his fingers in such a way. I panted, whining and biting hard on my bottom lip, barely able to contain myself. I knew I was becoming hard again because I felt it stabbing into my stomach and I groaned.

He kept adding fingers and I could feel the sweat accumulate on my back and I kept getting tighter until I eventually started to relax into his touch. I'm sure that made him so much happier, knowing that I would trust him to make the correct choices…I mean, come on, I had no idea what he was doing! I've never actually had a gay experience. Shit, I've kissed and made out with men before, but never gone this far. But then again, I love Adam and I'm willing to take it to the next fucking level: allowing him to shove his rock hard dick in my ass.

"Are you ready, Glitterbaby?" he asked, his fingers pulling out of me and I moaned at the loss, whimpering and nuzzling my cheek into the cushion of the couch, needing to be touched again, feeling completely helpless without his aid. And he knew that. I wanted to reach down and start touching myself, but I was frozen in elation.

I whined loudly and nodded my head and gasped, clenching my eyes shut when he started to penetrate my body. A whimper fell from my lips loudly as I yelped. "A-ADAM!" I wailed and then I began to see white when his dick pressed against that spot inside of me. I wouldn't be surprised if I fainted. Seriously, it was THAT amazing! Adam Lambert, you're a fucking SEX GOD. "O-Oh, SHIT!" I yelled, gripping tightly onto the pillows and burying my head into them, the burning sensation and pain almost too much to bear. But in that amount of agony, the pleasure and realization came into play and I began to push back and he would pull back, shoving deeper and deeper inside of me.

"A-Adam…" I rasped and moaned loudly when I felt liquid surge inside of me. I panted and collapsed onto the couch, feeling Adam bounce besides me. My eyes were shut, exhaustion, pain, and pleasure too overwhelming inside me. I just wanted to fall asleep here in his arms. "O-Oh, Adam…" I whined, opening my eyes halfway and kissing him on the lips. It was tender, with no tongue, just an 'I love you, but I'm still unable to say it', kind of kiss. "T-Thank you…" I whispered, nuzzling into his neck. He was sweaty and I gave a weak chuckle.

"Glitterbaby," he said, wrapping his arms around my wet and sore body, "you were amazing…" he claimed and I blushed, realizing that he practically took my virginity for the first time and he told me that _I _was amazing. He was too sweet…

"You were even better…" I mused back, the fire burning into my cheeks.

Then I felt him tense and I looked up at him, grabbing his hand and holding it up to my naked chest. "T-Tommy…" he whispered and I whimpered, not liking the tone in his voice. Was he going to tell me something that I didn't do right? In fact, I didn't do much of anything except lay there and take it. "We didn't use a condom," he whined and I looked at him, turning my head to the side. "I-I'm so sorry, it completely slipped my mine and, I'm so fucking sorry!" He seemed so worried. Why though? Didn't he get checked and use protection? Even if he did have something, he would always make sure to wear a condom, no matter what, right?

"A-Adam, baby, I trust you…You're clean, right?" I asked, kissing him on the lips and cupping his face in my hands. He still seemed stiff and I didn't like that. HE WAS CLEAN, RIGHT? I'm sure he used a condom with all those spring flings we brought over, he wasn't irresponsible. For fuck sakes, I went to the store to get condoms with him. He was fine.

He nodded nervously, and shrugged, kissing me back. I moaned lightly, sucking on the freckle to the left of his bottom lip. He groaned pulling away and smiling at me, "Baby, I just want to let you know that I love you…Alright?" he whispered and I nodded, lowering my head and kissing his neck, completely exhausted. My ass stung and it ached between my legs. Fuck, my breathing wasn't even slow yet. He worked me really hard. But I'm not complaining, it was amazing.

"Sweetie, we have to get ready before the band suspects something…" he murmured, getting up and I groaned in protest, reaching up for him, but all I got was air. "I know…It'll hurt love, but come on…We'll take a shower at the hotel, alright? I know you feel gross and sticky…" he mumbled, putting on his pants and easing mine up. I hissed and he whimpered, nuzzling into my neck. "I know…" he whispered again, putting on my shirt, and I did feel dirty…and SORE. I tried standing up, but I yelped in pain, falling back on the couch and whined. I wrapped my arms around my stomach and I groaned, whimpering loudly and looking up at Adam.

"DAMNITT!" I growled. Adam seemed worried and he scurried over, wrapping his arm around my waist and hoisting me up. We were both fully dressed at this point. But I wanted to get out of these fucking clothes! They were too tight, wet, and sticky! I hated it!

"We'll just go straight back to the hotel, alright?" he whispered into my hair, walking out of the door and into the limo. The guards followed us and shut the door. I felt bad…When was the last time I went to go talk to the fans? I don't know…

When we arrived at the hotel, I could walk, but fuck, was it awkward. I practically waddled next to Adam and I kept tripping. Finally, we got to the room and Adam and I made our way to the bathroom. He turned the water on to the perfect temperature and stripped himself before helping me take off my attire. He lifted me up; setting me down in the shower with such care, it was as if he was treating me like I would break at any second. Which I would. I was ready to burst into tears, but I wouldn't allow myself…

It was overwhelming, all of this, but I took it. I loved Adam. I did. And I wanted to tell him. Just scream if and make it known to the world; to him.

Adam shut the door and wrapped his arms around my waist, kissing my forehead. I moaned, leaning against him and shutting my eyes, wanting to fall asleep.

"I love you, Adam…" I whispered, tired and not really wanting to move. He tensed and I felt him look down at me, but I didn't bother looking up.

"W-What, Tommy?" he asked, as if he couldn't hear me.

"Oh, shut up. You heard me…" I mumbled, kissing his neck and resting my head on his shoulder. There…I said it.

_I love you._


	26. Negative Thinking, Positive Test

**Adam's POV**

Did Tommy just say that? That he loved me? I mean, of course I loved him too and I said it after we had gotten it on but did he really say that he loved me? Wow. But I still was nervous about the whole condom thing. I hadn't gotten checked in a while because of the tour but I thought I was clean. Right? I mean Tommy can't have aids. Of course he doesn't. So just in case, I decided I was going to have him checked tomorrow. But when I told him the next day, he wasn't too happy.

"Why do you want to have me checked if you know you're clean, Adam? Are you clean? Am I going to get aids? Oh my god!" he was nervous and angry at the same time.

"Tommy, baby, you're fine, and I just want to get you checked, just in case anything happens." I said, trying to keep him calm. I walked over to him and wrapped my arms around his waist.

"You're going to be fine, baby," I said, leaning down and kissing him sweetly on the lips. "Now come on, we have to go. Your appointment is in an hour." I grabbed his hand and we walked to the car.

When we were driving there I could practically SEE him shaking. Oh god, I hope I was clean. But he trusts me, right? I was having so many doubts at the moment and it wasn't good. When I finally pulled into the parking lot of the clinic, Tommy went insane, like a kid that didn't want to get a shot.

"Adam, I don't want to do this, I'm scared," he looked at me with wide, frightened eyes. I hated seeing him like this.

"You'll be fine," I said, stepping out of the car and walking around to the other side of it to meet Tommy and grab his hand. We walked in through the double doors and sat, waiting in silence as straight couples stared. I was used to it, but Tommy wasn't. I could see him blushing so deeply. When the doctor called his name, he left looking back at me before he walked into the room.

So I sat and waited in silence, just waiting. This wasn't easy. I was so nervous. I didn't want this to have to EVER happen. To ever have to get one of my boyfriends checked for aids. It was so scary. And when the doctor walked back out without Tommy, I stood up.

"Mr. Lambert, you might want to talk to him alone," he said, leading me to the room. When I entered, I saw Tommy crying his eyes out. And I walked over to him and wrapped my arms around him, rocking him back and forth.

"The test read positive, I am very sorry. I will give you some privacy." When the doctor said that I allowed salty tears to fall from my eyes.

"Tommy," I said looking at him.

"WHAT ADAM? WHAT? YOU DID THIS TO ME! NO MATTER HOW MUCH I LOVE YOU, YOU DID THIS TO ME!" he screamed and I felt so bad. I started crying even more.

"T-Tommy, I had no i-idea that this w-was going to h-happen! I love you Tommy and no matter what-"

"NO MATTER WHAT? I'M GOING TO DIE ADAM! IM GOING TO FUCKING DIE!" he cried. "I-I love you, A-Adam, please don't leave me," he said, his voice calmer.

"You don't need to worry, Tommy, I never will. I love you too,"

That night we fell asleep in each others arms in the hospital.


	27. Because Of You

**Tommy's POV**

When we arrived at the hospital, Adam and I sat hand in hand. I was squeezing onto it hard because I didn't want to leave and go into the doctor's office alone, but I knew it had too…And all these motherfucking boy on girl couples kept staring at our hands, and in truth, it made me really uncomfortable. Like, so uncomfortable that I was ready to drop Adam's hand right there and pretend that we didn't even fuck last night. Cause seriously, now that I'm thinking back on it, I'm just gonna fucking consider it a screw…bang…A really unsafe FUCK. Because if it was like, 'making love', Adam wouldn't have me in this hospital, gripping onto his sweaty hand, hoping that I don't have fucking AIDS. First of all, I'm supposed to be STRAIGHT. Second of all, my first gay experience could possibly lead to me dying, and THIRD of all, why is Adam so nervous next to me? He said he was clean, so he shouldn't be worrying. But so help me, if I do have the un-forsaken disease, I'm going to just tear his ass open and shove a hand grenade up it…

When the doctor finally called me in, I sat on this bed and they shoved a needle in my arm to take the blood test. Oh, FUCK. I hate needles. Now I wish I had Adam's hand in mine, this is ridiculous!

I waited for about half an hour before the doctor came in with a serious look on his face. I was still really convinced that Adam's clean. Otherwise I know he would have used a condom. But the look on the doctor's face told me otherwise.

"Well, Mr. Ratliff. The tests read positive, but please don't be alarmed, we can give you some medicine to slow down the process and make the pain bearable. In fact, we should start right now before it spreads any quicker. Basically, this kind of virus eats at your immune system and these pills I'm about to give you are the only known treatment…" He handed me these two orange pills. I swallowed them, digesting what he said. "Would you like me to get-?"

"A-Adam…Can you p-please get Adam…" I said, barely above a whisper. He nodded and walked out. I think that's when I started to sob. Not only from the fact that I'm gonna die, but the fact that Adam, the first male I've ever loved, gave this to me.

When Adam walked in, I started yelling at him, the tears kept flowing down my cheeks. Then he started crying, and in all honesty, it was just a huge fucking gay fest of tears and violent shakes. I eventually fell asleep in Adam's arms…

When I woke up, I was dizzy and my head was clouded. I looked up at Adam and he had deep bags around his eyes and a weak smile on his face. I groaned and began to claw at his chest.

"H-Hey, baby…Did you sleep well?" he asked and I kissed his neck, clinging onto his shirt. It was in that moment in time that I heard his heart beat…It was steady with a nice rhythm to it. That's when it hit me.

"A-Adam…" I whined, looking up at him. "I-If I have it…Then that means…Y-You have it…" I whispered, my eyes widening. Adam nodded; his bottom lip quivering then he broke out into sobs.

"I-I don't care a-about that T-Tommy, I only c-care about the fact t-that I'm a selfish PRICK that got y-you sick t-too! T-Tommy, I'm so s-sorry, and I know this won't make up for a-anything, but-"

I sighed, kissing him on the lips, cupping his left cheek in my hand. He was still sobbing, but I didn't break the kiss until he calmed down. I pulled back. "Adam…You're an idiot. A fucking, stupid ass idiot! Not only for not getting checked after you banged all those fucking whores, but because you didn't wear protection during our little FUCK. I'm sorry Adam, but it was a FUCK and nothing more at this point…" I hissed and he started crying even more, but I sighed, still not finished. "But it's fine, 'cause we'll die together, okay?" I murmured, leaning my forehead against his with a small smile.

He whimpered and buried his head into my neck and I sighed, holding him close to me. Even though…After taking those motherfucking pills, this rage was boiling in the pit of my stomach, ready to lurk and fucking STRANGLE Adam…


	28. Unexpected Hurt

**Adam's POV**

I had realized that I had aids, too, but I never actually transferred into my mind that Tommy and I were going to die and I got really upset. But while Tommy and I were heading home, Tommy seemed to be reply angry with me, and I had no idea why. Was he having his man period? I laughed at the thought, and Tommy shot me a death glare.

"What?" he spat. What was up with him?

"Oh nothing," I said.

"What, Adam? What is it? TELL ME! DO YOU NOT TRUST ME ANYMORE? DO YOU NOT LOVE ME?" tears began falling from his eyes, and I pulled into the parking lot of the hotel, turned off the car, and looked at him.

"Tommy, of course I love you, I always have and always will," I said with a slight smile.

"Sure you do," he mumbled as he climbed out of the car and walked into the hotel. Okay, well maybe he's just not having a good day. But he doubted my love for him. This wasn't right. Something was seriously wrong with Tommy and I, being me, was determined to figure it out.

I followed Tommy into the hotel and up to the room. As soon as we stepped into the room, Tommy sat on the bed, turned on the T.V. and paid no attention to me. So I just walked into the bathroom.

I changed into some plaid pajama pants and a tank top. As I exited the bathroom, I got a call from Monte.

"Hello?"

"Adam! Where have you and Tommy been? We were all getting worried!"

"We were... Well..."

"Talk Adam..."

"Come to our room. With the rest of the band. I can't tell you on the phone."

"Okay," he said and we hung up. This wasn't going to be easy...

When the band arrived, Tommy gave them all glares then turned his attention back to the T.V.

"Hey what's up?" Cam asked when she entered the room, the rest of the band following close behind her.

"Umm... Well," I said, "Tommy and I aren't exactly okay..." I said and Tommy stood up and walked over.

"AREN'T OKAY? YOU KILLED ME ADAM! THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT!" he said and ran away to the other room.

"WOAH, what do you mean kill? And why is Tommy so angry?" asked Isaac, placing his hand on my arm.

"Adam, what's going on?" said Sasha.

"Tommy and I, kind of, you know, fooled around the other night, and," I looked down at the floor, "we both have... Aids,"

I looked up and cam covered her mouth. Monte had tears forming in the corner of his eyes, and Isaac just stared in shock. Sasha was already breaking down. I started to cry.

"Oh-Oh m-my G-God," said Brooke. I looked at them.

"But it's okay," I mumbled. "Were going to die together," and I fell to my knees and cried into my hands.


	29. It's All Because Of You

**Tommy's POV**

I slammed the door shut and growled, whipping out my pill bottle and shoving three more into my mouth. They felt heavy, falling down my throat and clinking into my stomach like a stone. Hopefully these motherfucking pills will kill me before those fucking AIDS do. It's all Adam's fault. He just had to have sex with me and fucking KILL me. He fucked me up real nice, didn't he? To think he actually loved me at all. It's fucking pathetic that's what is it. I mean… "Oh, I love you so much! Let's have unprotected sex, Tommy!"

And the worst part is that he was my first gay experience! The first man I ever loved and he does this to me. I thought he was more responsible than this. I guess it only proves that he's a fucking whore that likes to take it up the ass. That slut. I hate him so much; I can't believe I actually said I loved him. I don't and I never will. He ruined my life- well, as much as I'm going to live!

"FUCK YOU!" I yelled, punching the wall and leaving a dent. I growled, my fingers pulsing and my hand bleeding. The knuckles were cracked and my fingers felt bruised. But come on! What does that matter? Let's start a motherfucking riot, I'm about to die! Normally, I don't punch walls because I need my hand to play bass…But I won't be able to do that anymore, will I? When will this kill me? When will this kill _us_?

There was a knock at my door. It was Adam. JUST THE FUCKING PERSON I WANT TO SEE RIGHT NOW. Damn, if I see him right now, I'm probably gonna punch him in the fucking face!

"T-Tommy…Baby, are you alright?" he asked and I could hear the hurt and confusion in his voice. "Baby, the band left…They're all really sad, but…" I could hear him gulp. "Do you want to cuddle or something, Glitterbaby?"

"DO. I. WANT. TO. CUDDLE?" I hissed, whipping my door opening and glaring at him. "FUCK ADAM. Of course I would just love to fucking cuddle with you! While we're at it, let's have some fucking nice gay fucking sex. You shove it up my ass and I'll give you a fucking blowjob, wouldn't you like that? Damnitt, I can't actually believe I chose to be fucking GAY!" I hissed, gripping onto the knob. The anger pulsing inside me wasn't my normal fits of anger. It was something else possessing me to say all this.

Adam seemed to be taken back and he had some tears in his eyes. "T-Tommy…Being gay isn't a choice, baby…" he mumbled pathetically.

I don't know. This wasn't me talking. Something else was saying all these hurtful things to the love of my life. I love Adam and I would never willing say this shit to him. I love him so much…So why would I do this? Why would I be saying all this shit to him? We're going to die and I'm yelling at him? Telling him that his sexuality is a choice? It's not a fucking choice, TOMMY JOE. So why the hell are you saying it is? You know it's not! But what was coming out of my mouth wasn't me talking…

"NOT A FUCKING CHOICE? Well it certainly is a choice to have no condom sex. WHY THE HELL DID I BECOME A FUCKING FAG?" I screamed and Adam gasped, tears forming in his eyes and spilling down his cheeks. My eyes widened and I felt light headed. Aw, shit…How many of those pills did I take today? The doctor gave me two and then I took three. But that was the least of my worries (or so I thought)…I'm making my boyfriend cry because I just called him the worst word in the entire world...

"T-Tommy…" he choked out, taking a step back and I groaned, leaning against the wall and grabbing my head. I had this fucking huge migraine and it wasn't going away. My heart was beating so fucking rapidly, that I thought it would come out of my fucking chest.

"N-No…Wait, Adam…" I mumbled, but he already turned his heel and was heading to the other bedroom. He slammed the door and I winced, growling lightly and stumbling over to the couch and falling on it. I coughed a little and moaned.

Why did I say all that to Adam…? I didn't mean to. I should be happy to die with the love of my life…So why was I being such a bitch to him? Why was I acting this way in the first place? I love him…So much…But I don't deserve to die with him…So I should die first before this fucking disease takes my life…

"I-I'm sorry Adam…" I mumbled, taking out the pill bottle and shoving three more in my mouth. There. A total of eight painkillers today. In fact, I'm not even sure if they were painkillers. I didn't look at the bottle I just trusted what the doctor gave me.

I grunted and threw the bottle across the room, hearing it clank against the wall and splatter the rest of the tiny devils across the floor. Tears pooled up in my eyes and broke the barricade, spilling down my cheeks. "I-I'm s-so sorry, Babyboy…" I whispered, before shutting my eyes and going into a dreamless sleep that I don't think I'll ever wake up from.


	30. I'll Stand By You

**Adam's POV**

I walked to my room, tears that I was holding in started to pour out, and I wished that the aids had kicked in right there and killed me. What Tommy said...? Everything he said was so mean. I don't know why he would do that. I just wanted to cuddle, make him feel better. And why was he saying it was all MY fault? He was the one who wanted to FUCK ME! I was lost in the moment, and forgot about protection! But why was he being such a bitch? And that one word, the F word, made me feel like he cut open my chest with a knife, ripped my heart out, threw it on the ground and stomped on it. It made me feel so hurt.

When I got to my room, I slammed the door so hard that I thought the door might fall of the hinges. I ran over to my bed and put my face in the pillow and just let out all the tears, for hours and hours. Well at least it felt like that. I was so damn upset. I hated Tommy but loved him at the same time. It was like at one moment I wanted to throw him down stairs and watch him be in pain. But at another moment I wanted to push him against a wall and kiss him all over. But I knew I couldn't do that.

A few minutes later I got up to get a drink. All the crying had made me really dehydrated. As I was walking to the kitchen, I couldn't help but notice a body like figure lying on the ground. I looked over my shoulder and my eyes widened at the sight of Tommy passed out on the floor. Or... Oh my god was he dead? Already? No he can't be! It's too soon!

I ran over to Tommy and placed my hand on his heart. Oh my god it wasn't beating! I tried to shake Tommy awake, gave him mouth to mouth (not like that, you perverts!), and when none of my options worked, I called an ambulance. They arrived five minutes later, and I watched them place him on that ugly, scary looking gurney. I was crying again, now more dehydrated then before. When the ambulance left, I went to grab my keys and phone. I noticed Tommy's pain killer pills on the ground and stared. He had overdosed, and tried to kill himself. BUT WHY?

When I finally made it to the car, I hopped in and drove, faster than ever before. This was all happening so fast. I couldn't handle it.

About five minutes later, I pulled into the parking lot of the hospital and ran inside, sitting in a chair in the waiting room. All the people in there were so sad, and torn apart. It made me want to cry again. What if Tommy was dead? What if he was never coming back? I cried at the thought of having to go to my boyfriend's funeral.

"Mr. Lambert?" said the doctor.

I've been in this situation before. When Tommy was being tested. I didn't want to be here again.

"Yea?" I said.

"Well, Tommy was out for a while, and still is. It was an overdose of Pain Killers for aids, which, I don't understand why he was taking. He doesn't seem to have aids..." he looked up from his paper and looked at me. I couldn't help my mouth from dropping.

"B-But him and I both h-have it," I said, tears falling from my blurry eyes. I was so amazed. If he didn't have it, did I still have it?

"Well, I guess the test he took read wrong. He's clean. If you don't mind me asking, were you the one who almost gave them to him?" asked the doctor. I nodded.

"Would you like me to test you?" I looked up.

"That would be perfect," I said, "Thank you,"

I followed the doctor into the room and let him draw the blood. I've gotten tested before so needles don't bother me. So then I sat in the room. And waited for the results. I really didn't think I had aids though. If Tommy didn't, I didn't, right? Wrong. I was positive. I cried for longer. It seemed my day was filled with tears.

"Mr. Lambert, Tommy is awake. He would like to see you," the doctor motions me to follow him. When I saw Tommy, he was pale and looked sickly.

"Adam," he said. I walked over to him and sit on the bed, burying my face in his chest.

"Tommy, I love you so much. Please, never forget me!"

He pulled me away and cupped my hands in face. "What are you talking about Adam? I'm clean, you're clean, were both going to live!" he smiled and I just broke down again. "Adam? Baby? Are you still mad? Is that what this is about? Adam, I love you and I don't know what happened to me. I'm so sor-"

"Tommy! You don't get it! I'm not mad! You're clean, I have aids! I just got tested!"

Tommy started crying. "Adam! You can't die, I love you too much! I don't know how I would live without you! Please, Adam, tell me you're lying,"

I looked at him and that must've answered his question because he pulled me into a tight hug, and we fell asleep, once again, in a small hospital bed.


	31. This Is It

**Tommy's POV**

It's been a year since we actually found out Adam had AIDS. But it's crazy. We finished the tour, no problem…And it's like he doesn't even have that disease. I've done my fair share of research and you can live up to twenty years with that fuck disease. He's acting the same and everything is normal…Except for the fact that he hasn't actually fucked me in a year…He's too scared the condom will pop or something. Sure, I'm given it to him a lot…a lot more than I thought I would have, but I want him inside me again. I don't know, but I'm not complaining. I've kind of gone off the deep end from not being screwed in over a year, but I've been surviving. It's not like I have a fatal illness…

Today, it was the anniversary of the very first day we met and Adam wanted to do something really special. But…He didn't get out of bed at all. It was twelve and we were gonna go shopping and stuff by 11:30, but Adam wasn't even up. I personally thought he was just being lazy. Because normally, if we were going to spend the day together, he would be jumping off walls and be singing…But today was different. He was quiet and he hadn't said a word all day.

"Come on, Babyboy. Get the fuck out of bed!" I exclaimed, walking up over to him and gasping. He was sweating all over and his face was flustered. I whimpered and bent down, placing a kiss to his forehead, my lips burning at the touch. "Oh, baby…" I mused, brushing his damp black hair out of his face. No wonder…He was getting weaker. I should have expected this. But it isn't fair. It said twenty years from now…However, early deaths are very common. Oh, my poor Babyboy…

"T-Tommy…I'm so s-sorry…" he whispered, groaning and coughing into the pillow. A deep frown tugged onto my lips. He shouldn't be sorry, it's not his fault…Okay, it kind of is, but screw logic right now, I hated him being in so much pain and it tore my heart to pieces. "No, baby…its fine, please…" Adam mumbled, trying to get up, then grunting and falling back onto the pillow, panting. I whimpered and kissed him on the lips. He didn't kiss back, and I didn't expect him too. It was limp, but I gave it all my love.

"I'm gonna go make you some tea…Would you like that Adam?" I asked and he nodded, frowning and looking at me sadly. I sighed and got up, shutting our bedroom door when I exited it. The tears began to pour down my face and I sobbed silently as I shuffled to the kitchen. I was expecting this to happen. Adam has lost about twenty pounds in the past four months…And he was eating like he normally did, he just lost if for no adequately explained reason. And when he got on that scale and told me, I knew it was just a matter of time. He seemed fine with it, not giving a care in the world, but I was dying on the inside. He was my life.

I kept sobbing silently to myself as I got him his favorite tea and sauntered back to our room. But I didn't go in immediately. I first wiped my eyes and scrape off my smeared make-up. I turned the knob and walked in. Adam was turned to the side and he looked paler than before and it shattered my heart. Seeing him in any kind of pain just made me want to throw up.

"B-Baby…?" I whispered and he moaned, opening his eyes and smiling weakly at me. He then frowned and lifted his hand up, holding my cheek and his eyebrows creased with anguish.

He hated being worried for. He wanted to be the one worrying for others. Every time I would try and help him, try and ask him if everything was okay, he would flip because I hated being asked that so much. And I understand why. I was getting clinging, but I didn't care, I wanted him alive, in my arms, with a beating heart. We were supposed to get married and get old together. I love him.

"T-Tommy…Were you crying, baby?" he asked and I shook my head, the tears pouring down my face as I sobbed into his chest. He stiffened and coughed into his hand before wrapping his arms around me. "B-Baby…What's wrong?" he wheezed, causing me to just break down. How can he ask me what's wrong? He knows what's wrong! I'm about to lose the love of my life!

"A-Adam…You can't die! I love you too much for you to just disappear and I won't be able to see you. Babyboy, if you're not here, I don't want to be either. You're my everything. You're the reason for me being alive…I…" I choked, kissing his cheek and lying next to him, crying hard into his shoulder.

"Tommy…" he mused, petting my hair. "Baby, you'll be fine without me. Please don't think about anything rash…" he said, his voice barely above a whisper. "Don't…Don't think about suicide."

My eyes widened and I looked up at him, his face was serious as it could be in his situation. How did he know? Of course I was…I just needed…But I would allow him to think that I was going to off myself as soon as he's gone. He didn't need to die with the worry that his boyfriend was going to shoot his brains out once he was gone. Give him a lie, Tommy. He'll die happy that way. "Of course not Adam…" I whispered, pulling him close to me and listening to his heartbeat. A heartbeat that won't last for much longer.

"I love you…" I muttered, leaning up and kissing him on the lips. He tried to kiss back, but it wasn't the same, so I decided to lead, knowing that tasting him now may be the last time I ever do it. I whimpered, straddling his waist and licking his bottom lip. He opened his mouth and I ravaged his mouth with my tongue, and licking his teeth. He moaned weakly and I pulled back, kissing his cheek, down to his neck and sucking, leaving a hickey. He gasped, moaning a little and panting heavily.

He groaned and tugged on my hair, gasping for breath. I leaned back up and gave him a quick peck on the lips, grinding my hips into his. "I love you so much Adam…" I muttered, shutting my eyes and cupping his face in my hands and licking his lips before falling next to him and snuggling into his neck.

"I-I…love you too Tommy…" he mumbled, shutting his eyes and breathing slowly. Tears began to trickle from my eyes as I grabbed his hand and shut my eyes. They dripped onto his shirt and he sighed, licking his lips.

I sniffled a little and glanced up at him when he started to hum Music Again. I gasped and choked up a bit, crying even more into his chest…knowing that this was almost it.


	32. All Coming To An End

Next chapter's the last one, lovies. No sequel.

* * *

**Adam's POV**

I felt like crap and I knew I was slowly getting weaker. I could feel myself slowly dying. It started every month, then week, then day, hour, minute, and now I could feel myself dying every second. I felt like just dying right now because I hated seeing Tommy and others in pain. Like the moment he brought me the tea; he had tears running down his face and I didn't like the sight of it. But when he said something, just that one sentence, I knew he was thinking about suicide. No, he can't do that. He can't think about suicide! I wanted him to move on and find another lover, someone who won't get aids and die young! Someone who will be able to marry him and die with him. Because I couldn't do that.

Tommy and I cuddled and I knew he was going to miss this time. And I knew that if I was going to live somewhere after death, I knew I would miss it too. So I just enjoyed it, and gave Tommy all I can. But the pain was horrible. It kept ripping through me like a wildfire. And the migraines were deathly. I kept losing weight and sweating so much. I had no energy left. None. I wanted to have the energy to love Tommy one last time. But I couldn't. I was way too weak.

I was closing my eyes and drifting off. But I had a feeling that this would be the last time I would see daylight. But I was in so much pain. So I leaned down and placed a sweet kiss on Tommy's lips. Then I pulled out a piece of paper from the bedside table drawer and wrote on it:

_"I love you so much, Glitterbaby. And I always will. Finish living your life. Find someone better than me. Someone you can grow old with and marry. Adopt a kid. Have a family. And die with the next one you love. But do me one favor, Tommy. Never forget me. Never forget my love for you. And just perform. Join another band. Do what you love and live your life. I love you more than anything, baby._

_Love,_

_Your forever Babyboy_

_Xoxo"_

I placed it on Tommy's chest and closed my eyes, letting myself drift off into my dreamless, undisturbed slumber.


	33. Together, Forever

Hai. This is the last chapter! No sequel! Thanks for staying on this ride with Bailey and me :) Love you guys!

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**Tommy's POV**

I woke up with my arms around Adam's waist and his around mine. I wanted to wake up like this forever and ever. I know for a fact I'm never going to let go of him. He's mine and mine alone. He's my Babyboy, and I'm pretty sure he wants to be it for as long as possible. I smiled a little, nuzzling into his neck and frowning. He was cold. I glanced down his body and he wasn't under any blankets, so I assumed his body temperature just dropped because of that. Made sense right? But, I wasn't under any blankets, and I didn't feel cold.

Yea, but you're not dying from a deadly and still incurable disease, Tommy Joe. I shuddered at that thought.

"Baby, do you want some blankets or something?" I mumbled, glancing up at him, but he was still asleep. I know I should let him rest, but I want to talk to him and spend some time with him. We only have a little time left together and I want it to be spent loving each other. I'm sorry Adam, but you're not sleeping when you only have too much time left.

"Adam…" I mumbled, kissing him on the lips and gasping, pulling back and looking at him oddly. His lips were bitter and…as cold as fucking snow. That wasn't normal. My heart quickened its pace and my hands became clammy. "Adam?" I asked again, shifting a little and hearing the crinkling of paper. I grunted and I got the small piece of paper from under my arm and gazed at it. When I finished reading the note, tears were pouring down my face and I straddled Adam's waist. "A-Adam?" I gasped, leaning my head down and pressing my ear to his chest. Nothing. Silence.

This was it.

"O-Oh, fuck, no, baby!" I moaned, cupping his face in my hands and kissing his lips over and over again, trying to taste him, to wake him up. But he didn't budge. He didn't kiss back; he just laid there and would be doing that until the end of time. "A-Adam…" I choked, burying my head into his neck and sobbing. Realization hit me in the fucking balls.

He was gone.

Adam Lambert…the love of my life, my entire existence was dead. And I was trying to bring him back to life with kisses, fuck, I'm stupid. If he were to be brought back from the dead with freaking kisses, I would be hopping off walls. He's dead. He's never coming back. I won't ever be able to see him again, hear his voice, and kiss him with passion. This was it. It was over, he was dead. And there's not heaven, where you fucking go up into the stupid clouds and meet everyone. Adam and I didn't believe in that shit…So even if there was a God, he would send us to hell…

His heartbeat has ceased.

"N-No…" I whispered, getting off of my dead boyfriend and shuffling over to the bathroom. "I'm so sorry. I know you told me to meet someone new and live my life…, but life isn't worth living without you, Babyboy…" I muttered, reaching up into the cabinet and taking out the sleeping pills I had bought just for this occasion. I had been planning suicide for a couple months, and I had these stashed away. I made sure Adam didn't find them because he's been onto me about this. He knew that I've been contemplating suicide. Not before he died, but right when he does.

Without you…

I gulped and grabbed the bottle, unscrewing the lid and pouring out seven pills. More than enough to kill me. And that's what I wanted. Without Adam, it's virtually impossible to stay alive anymore. He's my heart, and if he's not alive, why should I be? Even if I were to remain alive, it would be depressing, unsatisfying, and I would be forlorn time in and time out. Why would Adam want me to live like that? He wouldn't…He assumes I can find someone else like him. Don't make me laugh.

…I am nothing.

I shoved all the pills in my mouth and bent down, turning on the faucet and swallowing them down. They eased down my throat and fell hard into my stomach. I smiled, sauntering back to the bed and falling next to Adam, holding the note close to my breathing chest. I turned my head and looked at his face on last time, knowing that the excessive amount of pills I took would be kicking in at any moment. He was so gorgeous, even when he wasn't there anymore. His soul has vanished and left nothing more than a shell of the man I love. I sighed leaning over and kissing him softly on the lips, holding the note tightly. That was the only part of him that was still alive anymore.

Love me…

"I love you so much, Adam" I muttered against his lips, kissing them again and brushing some hair from his face. He seemed at peace, and that was all I could ask for. He wasn't in pain anymore.

My eyes began to droop, but I forced them open so I could keep staring at my beautiful boyfriend. The person I will always and forever love. The fact that he thinks I can go on living without him is ridiculous, I know he told me to go on and find someone new, someone better, but he is that someone better. He is that someone new. That someone that I always want. I want to marry him, adopt a kid with him…

Perhaps, in an alternate universe at which you go, you'll be able to see the love of your life…And fall hard for him once again. I would do that. Start this all over. Meet Adam all over again, just so I could see him. Know him.

Finally, the pills began to seep in and I couldn't hold my eyes one any longer. They drooped, slowly shutting. But before they closed I kissed Adam on the lips one more time, tasting him, hoping that I will be able to love him somewhere else.

…in the Aftermath.


End file.
